JDaniel Says the Funniest Things Archives

Do Dust Bunnies Hatch?

June 8, 2011 By Deirdre

I talk about dust bunnies a lot with JDaniel as we remove them from our house. They seem to gather frequently behind tables and under furniture in our home.

One day while riding in the car JDaniel started asking questions about dust bunnies.

JDaniel: Where do the bunnies come from?

Me: Well, they form when dead skin, hair and other things gather close to each other on the floor.

JDaniel: No, how are they born? Do they hatch?

Me: Hatch? Sweet boy, they aren’t birds they don’t hatch.

JDaniel: Do they have moms and dads like I do?

Me: No, they don’t have parents?

JDaniel: Why? I do.

Me: Yes, you do. They aren’t real bunnies. If they were real bunnies, they would have parents.

JDaniel: Mom, they are real. I can see them.

Me: That’s true. I can see them too.

JDaniel: How do they grow?

Me: They move closer to other dust and it sort of attaches to them.

JDaniel: No, what do they eat.

Me: I don’t think they have mouths to eat.

JDaniel: Sure, they do.

Me: I guess there could be dust carrots.

JDaniel: I only like cooked carrots. Do dust bunnies like cooked carrots?

Me: I haven’t really noticed. I guess they would like them cooked.

JDaniel: Can I feed them some of mine?

Me: I don’t think we should feed them or they will start to grow larger and larger.

JDaniel: Are you sure they don’t hatch?

Me: Yes, I am sure they don’t hatch.

Disclaimer: I couldn’t remember the conversation word for word so, I added words that I felt I needed to. Most of it came straight from our conversation.

This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday.

Dad’s Birthday Present! Panda Robot is on the List?

May 21, 2011 By Deirdre

On Wednesday morning just after morning prayers I asked JDaniel what he thought we should give dad for his birthday.

JDaniel: Well, you know how dad has that remote control monster truck in the closet that is broken.

Me: Yes, I know about that truck.

JDaniel: I think he needs a robot to have something to play with.

Me: Does Dad need a robot or do you want one?

JDaniel: Well, dad and I play together. He would share it with me.

Me: What kind of robot does Dad need?

JDaniel: He needs a panda robot like we saw at the store when we got Cruz’s birthday present.

Me: Doesn’t he need a new monster truck instead.

JDaniel: No, Dad really likes robots now and he would want that one.

Me: Why does he want the panda robot? Does he even like pandas?

JDaniel: I like pandas and I am a lot like Dad.

Me: So, you liked the panda robot you saw at the store and you want it to play with. Is that it?

JDaniel: No, this is what Dad wants. I know he does.

(Small feet scamper to ask Dad while he is still sleeping in bed.)

JDaniel: Dad, don’t you want a panda robot for your birthday?

Dad: What? Pandas aren’t robots.

JDaniel: For you birthdays don’t you want a robot!

Dad: (One eye opened) Son, right now I just want sleep!

JDaniel: Mom, I will ask him again later.

Me: (Ushering JDaniel out of the room and closing the door.) Yes, maybe later he will decide he wants the robot.

While a panda robot was on JDaniel’s list, pants and a shirt were on Dad’s list.

Happy Birthday Honey!

When JDaniel and I were heading home from playgroup on Monday, I realized the road I thought would take me home was in fact taking me further away from home. I don’t usually spend a lot of time in that part of town and really haven’t learned how to get around there yet.

As soon as I realized we were going the wrong way, I looked for a place to turn around. The best place to turn around looked like it would be at the next traffic light. The traffic was heavy and it was going to be hard to get my car heading the right direction without a light.

Right beside the light on the left hand side of the road was empty parking lot. It looked as if a fast food restaurant and once lived on part of the cement pad but, it had long ago been removed. The lot looked perfect for my turn around.

I made my left turn once the light turned green and then made a quick left into the parking lot. As my car entered the lot I heard a huge thud! The entrance into the lot looked like it was clear from the road but, I had obviously gone over something.

“What was that?” JDaniel wanted to know.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Maybe mommy ran over something. I didn’t see anything though.”

“Maybe you ran over a little man,” JDaniel said matter-a-factly.

“No, I really don’t think it was a little man,” I answered.

“Did he have a wrench? Maybe he was working on the parking lot.” JDaniel surmised. Daydreaming possibilities of what might have made the loud sound.

“I really don’t think it was a little man at all,” I announced.

“Did he bring a horse with him? Is the horse hurt too?” he wanted to know.

“No, I don’t think there was a horse or a man,” I said a little more strongly.

“Where do you think his car is? JDaniel wanted to know.

Possibilities as to what had made that sound filled the car the whole ride home. There were dozens things the little man had been doing and had brought with him to work on the parking lot.

Finally as we approached our driveway, JDaniel stopped sharing ideas and announced, “Mom, I really don’t think you killed a leprechaun. I think he is probably okay.”

I am so glad! I would hate to injure anyone with my car ever but, to hurt a leprechaun on St.Patrick’s Day would be terrible.

Disclaimer: This post is linked to Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop. The prompt is daydreams. The story is almost one hundred perfect true. I don’t remember all the things JDaniel said due to the fact that I was trying to drive home and listen at the same time.

The Orange Sign, The Wedding, The GPS, and the Deer

August 4, 2010 By Deirdre

JDaniel is so into John Deere right now. It could be because his Cousin Charlie’s room is decorated in John Deere pictures. While we were up visiting my sister Kate’s family in the country outside of Syracuse, NY we saw a lot of orange signs. The only one that really stood out to JDaniel was the John Deere signs. I know they are supposed to be a deer crossing signs. According to JDaniel it is a John Deere sign. I am not sure if that means John Deere tractors across there or all things John Deere can cross at the sign. I think it is funny that he made that association.

The second reason we went to New York was to attend a cousin’s wedding right on Seneca Lake. It was a beautiful time for the bride and groom to share their love for each other. The food was amazing. Seeing relatives was great. What will JDaniel remember? He remembers the piñata my Aunt Sue set up and getting to throw rocks in the lake. If he had his way, he would have thrown rocks the whole time we were there. It was one way my sisters Kate and Michelle could convince him to leave mommy’s side. Each enticed him to go with them because they would take him to the rocks. While his cousins skipped rocks on the lake, JDaniel dumped, threw, and hurled them.

The wedding was almost two hours away from my sister’s house. By the time I decided it was time to leave it was getting dark. My sister Kate lent me her GPS to get back to her house. She and her family would be heading back later in the evening and were familiar with the roads. JDaniel loved echoing the GPS. The GPS would say, “Turn left in four miles.” JDaniel would say, “Turn left” for four miles. He did this over and over again. I tried singing to him and chatting with him. He decided he would rather chat with the GPS. Thank goodness this new game lost interest eventually. We discovered while driving home that GPS does a great job most of the time. Sometimes it causes you to drive in a circle or a square. I was pretty sure at one point I needed to go straight. The GPS said to take a left. I followed the GPS. It said to take another left and then another. Yes, you are right it put me back on the same road I thought I needed to go straight on. As we made the final left, I saw a deer on the left-hand side of the road. (A real deer not a John Deere) It looked like he was shaking his head at me. If he could have talked to me I bet he would have said, “I bet a GPS sent you this way. It is happening on this road more and more all the time.”

My Son Changed His Name To You

February 17, 2010 By Deirdre

For a very long time, JDaniel called himself Me. Everything was about a little boy named Me. A few weeks ago he changed his name to You. It was very confusing at first.

I would say, “ What would you like for lunch?”

He would say, “You cheese, bagel, gapes.”

I would say, “I would eat them. How about you?”

He would say, “You! You!” Then he would point to himself.

I would say, “You would like them for lunch?”

He would say again, “ You! You! (This time frantically pointing to himself.)

I would finally say, “ JDaniel would like cheese, bagel, and gapes.”

Finally, he would say, “Yes!” with an exasperated sigh.

How did I get into this mess? It started with my saying:

Are you ready to go upstairs?

Would you like to go to the park?

Are you the most beautiful toddler in the world?

You did a wonderful job.

You can play with bubbles.

I guess he decided that his name was now You.

At playgroup yesterday I found out that two of the other children in the group have changed their names too. They are also now named You.

It’s freezing and JDaniel says, “Hot! Hot! Hot!”

January 8, 2010 By Deirdre

I am trying to be a good mom and keep my little one warm as we venture out of the house in this frigid weather. JDaniel is usually wearing long sleeve shirts, jeans, a winter coat and hat when we leave the house in the morning to run errands. I try to warm up the car to keep him warm as we travel to the grocery store, library, playgroup, etc… From the backseat of the car I keep hearing a very ornery toddler voice say, “Hot! Hot! Hot!” There is very little I can do while driving down the street. Once we get to our destination he needs to be dressed warmly to get out of the car.

It is hard as a mom to know how to dress a toddler for a car trip in winter. All I can do it turn down the heat, unzip his coat and take off his hat when he is in the car.

I am looking forward to it getting warmer!

JDaniel Says The Funniest Things #1

November 2, 2009 By Deirdre

I asked JDaniel what he had in this mouth. I thought he had picked something up off the floor that he shouldn’t have and put it in his mouth. As only a nineteen month can he looked at me and said, “Teeth.”