I will be hosting a wonderful series of guest posts about Pausing Life for a Moment. Each guest poster will have their own take on what that phrase means to them. I am so excited that they will be sharing their thoughts and lives with you. Each has had an impact on this blog in one way or another. I will be sharing a little bit about how they have changed my life and the life of the blog above their posts each week.
Before they share their thoughts, I thought I would start the series off with mine.
Last week was my turn to host playgroup. I haven’t hosted in several months. There are eleven moms in playgroup now. It is usually several months until there is a need to volunteer your house for a group time.
Each week we RSVP on a discussion board as to whether we will be able to make playgroup that week. It can really vary from week to week as to how many moms and toddlers you have at your house.
On Sunday night I checked to see how many people had RSVPed that they were planning to come to playgroup. Seven moms had indicated that they were coming and three hadn’t decided whether they were coming or not. Monday morning at eight o’clock the same numbers appeared on the discussion board.
I started to panic about the amount of food I had prepared for the moms. Each week the host provides a snack for the moms. The children all bring a bag lunch filled with foods their moms know they will eat. I had a pot of vegetarian chili simmering and had planned to make cornbread. This just didn’t see like enough for 7-10 moms.
I quickly vacuumed the living room floor one last time and fled to the grocery store down the street. Literally it took me five minutes to get there from my house. JDaniel was happy to jump in the car and go to the store. He loves the free cookies they give away in the bakery.
Once the cookie had been obtained, I quickly grabbed a package of slice and bake cookies, some raw veggies, a container of dip, and two bags of tortilla chips. I was in and out of the store in less than fifteen minutes.
When I got home, I still had thirty minutes before the moms could start arriving. Moms of toddlers or the moms of toddlers in our group tend to be at least twenty minutes late.
I glanced at the answering machine as I dumped the tortilla chips in a bowl. It showed that there was a new message that had been left. After throwing the empty chip bag in the trash, I pushed the listen button on the machine. It was a message from one of the moms. “Some of us have decided to go to a park today. It really looks like it is going to be pretty. If no one shows up at your house and you want to meet us that would be great.”
I hit the button again and relistened to the message. It didn’t seem to make sense. Why were people going to a park instead of coming to my house? I checked the discussion board for the playgroup again to see if it held any answers to my question. There wasn’t an answer. There was just clarification as to how many moms I now had coming to my house. The number of moms now RSVPing yes was five. There was also the invite for all the moms to meet at the park as an alternative.
At first I was livid! Why had I just rushed off to the store? If I had stayed home and received the phone call I would have know I had more than enough for the moms coming.
When the other moms started to arrive, they questioned what was happening to. Why were they being asked to choose where to spend their morning instead of just going to playgroup at one location?
As we started to play upstairs in JDaniel’s room and try to give all our children lunch at the same time, my house suddenly felt a little crowded. What would I have done with all those moms and five other children?
I stopped and paused life for moment. I looked at situation unfolding in my house. The decision made by some of the moms to go to the park had been a blessing. God had sent the right number of moms and children to my house. I needed set my ego aside and realize this wasn’t about me. It was about moms getting to break cornbread together and watch our children learn to play together. It was about getting to enjoy each of the moms that had come and get to interact with each child. I never would have been able to do that with thirteen more people at my house.
I didn’t write this post to have any of you comment that the park initiating mom was horribly insensitive. This isn’t a poor JDaniel4’s Mom post. This isn’t a post written have you think I am now mad at these moms for choosing to be somewhere else. I am not mad instead I am grateful. This is post written to share with you what I learned when I paused life for a moment and looked at it through His eyes.
I like His view much better.
I’m really impressed that you handled this so thoughtfully and gracefully. I’m not so sure I would have felt as peaceful about it, although I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. It was really very inconsiderate. I love that JDaniel will learn from your actions how to graciously let things go 🙂
A beautiful perception of an event, by God.
He always provides with the blessing, if we have our hearts open.
You handled this much better than I would have! Thanks for writing this because I think it will help me think twice about the situation next time.
I really like how you changed your perspective to really things played out exactly as they should 🙂
Wow! I’m grateful for how you ended this. Your change in perspective is convicting and inspiring, and I’ll try to remember it, next time I’m faced with changing circumstances that at first seem unfair. Thanks!
You were very gracious about the whole thing. I have to admit I was a little confused about people making alternate plans but we had a wonderful time with you!
You are right – it really did work out for the best! I still think that was poor form of those moms, though.
I love your outlook and your right about it working out for the better. I’m so glad you had a wonderful time with those other moms and their little ones.
Pausing is sometimes the hardest thing you can do in a situation – but it’s also often the best.
It’s amazing how everything truly does happen for a reason, isn’t it? Sometimes we just need that pause to realize it. Thank you for sharing!
Sometimes it’s hard to see the blessing in the situation, but you did a great job! It’s such a valuable skill to be able to see the silver lining. And I’m sure your chili was delicious!
Oh goodness! I have been there! I once cleaned the house and had snacks ready for our playgroup only to be wondering an hour into the playdate where everyone was? Everyone was late- but no one called to tell me, so I was left wondering. Had I had your perspective- I would have felt less annoyed and perhaps more grateful to have more time to clean..lol.
Love this- look forward to your series!
I’m so impressed that you took the high road and were thankful instead of upset. I had a similar thing happen to me years ago, and sadly, I did not feel grateful. I think sometimes we moms get our feelings hurt too easily. Thanks for a wonderful perspective!
Nice post. Funny how GOD give us exactly what we need, when we need it, and only when we take a moments time to reflect can we be grateful for his works. So glad you had a pleasent playgroup. As always, enjoyed reading your blog:)
Sounds like a wonderful idea! I look forward to seeing all the future posts.
God always has a purpose. We must have proper perspective to see it!
Sounds like great playdate.
🙂
~Tabitha
I love how I got to hear your thoughts here. I have been in a similar situation, and would not have come to your grateful and optimistic conclusions in those times. A really thoughtful post, and Im glad to have read it. it will stick with me.
Stopping in from comment cocktail hour! Congrats!
What a great way to choose to look at the confusion!
Sometimes that moment of pause makes all the difference. I’m learning that as my kids get older. Wish I’d learned it sooner, but better late than never!
Well said. I have to remind myself that HIS way is always better no matter what I think.
We all need those moments.
I just did a post this week about wanting to capture a moment in time before it quickly slips away. Pausing in the here & now is totally important! Thanks for this post! Stopping by from the @SITS #CommentHour & your newest follower although I could have swore I already was! Haha!
Stopping by from the SITS #commenthour! I’ll be back. Very fun blog!!
It was a blessing in disguise, but I disagree, it would have been better if they had said something to you first since you were hosting as it was poor ettiquet on their part, no matter their intentions.
I have sooo many moments with my 15-month-old that I want to pause and savor. Usually when she’s made some world connection like her hat goes on her head. It’s so simple, but her face when she gets it? I will forever pause and hold that in my head.
Great post. I am late from SITS!
I’m very impressed how u handled this!! Thank u for sharing!!
It’s always good to reflect on the things that bother us and try to see the other side. Too bad more people don’t do that.
Here from the Comment Hour. I have wanted to pause life so many times; I think it’s needed to put things in perspective. You’ve got a great attitude, remaining gracious and understanding.
Love your attitude. It’s nice to see such refreshing positivity.
You def handled the situation better than I would have! I probably would have cried…a lot! Your perspective is very inspiring! Visiting from SITS comment hour!
Glad to see that you got the right pause at the right moment…
As we all learn, He does things for a reason.
Maybe these moms were ones that He felt you should build a deeper connection with?
Looking forward to this series 🙂
I think your response was perfect! I try to not let my mood or intentions be hampered by what someone else does. The truth is I can not control what other people do, but I can control how I react to it. That play group could have turned into a Mommy Bashing session, but instead you handled it so gracefully that it became a wonderful time to get to know some moms better!
“Pause Life for a Moment” Amen to that!!
Visiting from the SITS Tweet Party #CommentHour!
Blessings,
Toqua
http://ToquasCrafts.blogspot.com
I hate it when plans get changed mid-stream. Someone always gets left out or their feelings hurt.
I’m glad it turned out for you. Sometimes you do get what you need.
Wow I am super impressed how you handled this!! I would have been so upset and taken it personally. I am so glad it worked out for you! I also really love the concept of taking a moment to breathe and pause life! Looking forward to reading more posts on this subject.
Now, I have to say that really is impressing, and what a blessing it is that you could see it as such.
JR
Frugality Is Free
Playgroups and fellow mommy friends was something I never had. I wish I had…you are very fortunate.
wow, what a great idea to take time to pause life for a moment, there are so many to choose from in my life! wow! stopping by from last nights #commenthour my little fingers and brain didn’t work that fast lol
*waving,
shelley
Sometimes there really is another way to look at a given situation. And that other way can remove negative emotions. Seems you found another perspective, and that the situation that unfolded was exactly perfect for you.
OH! It’s all about perspective! What a wonderful reminder. Life gets so messy sometimes, so hectic.
p.s. now I want vegetarian chili.
Seriously, this is a wonderful post. Sometimes I get tired of reading rants and snarky posts that some other people write. I usually don’t even comment on those posts. But this is a great reminder that a different perspective can really make something negative into a positive! 🙂
Awesome post! It’s so true that everything happens for a reason. Looking at things through His eyes makes a world of difference. Visiting from Mom Loop. Deb @ LivingMontessoriNow.com
It was a pretty cruddy thing to do, but you’re right, it’s not about that. It’s about the things we learn in life when we’re not paying attention. God really does work in mysterious ways, and sometimes, like you did, we see His plan right away. Other times, it takes awhile. So glad you saw it early and were able to enjoy the quality time with the moms and kids.
Thanks for stopping by during Comment Hour on Wednesday. I was so excited about participating, but my migraine had other plans! 🙁
Anyway, can’t wait to check out more of your blog.
Such a thoughtful post. Happy SITS day, you deserve it!
Learning to let go of expectations and find joy in what is reality can be such a difficult lesson to learn, but it brings such great happiness. Thanks for reminding me of this.
It sounds like you had the best attitude! I love that : ) I was SO SUPER excited you were the SITS girl today! YAY for you!
Congratulations on your SITS Day! This post really appealed to me. My favourite saying is that “everything happens for a reason” which, I think, is what you are saying here 😉
Great that you found such a good reason for this change of plan – in my view, no one ever means to be mean or insensitive.
Deborah 🙂
Crazy sometimes how what seems like a disaster can actually ended up working out for the better!
Happy SITS Day!
Happy SITS Day! I’m always amazed at how a simple shift in perspective – from mine to His – will improve my attitude instantly. What an amazing example of God’s grace at work in your life; thanks for sharing it with us!
Love this. It always helps when we are able to do this when situations like the one you described arise, as they do probably more often than we would like. Hope you’re having a wonderful SITS day!
I’m here from Lisa’s and I am so glad I came. You have graced me with a very important lesson this morning.
came over from lisa’s to say hi! what a great perspective and attitude. i wish i could get that more often! 🙂
Lisa linked you up today and I didn’t know you back when you posted this, or if I did I must have missed it – and though I probably would have been cranky, I’m glad it was a wonderful playdate for you all! And I love the idea – too!
I loved this post! I dealt with a similar situation lately that didn’t seem right to me and wish I would have handled it so well. So glad Lisa posted about this.