When I went to pick Jdaniel up from his first day of preschool, he was one of only three children sitting on the rug staring at the door.
I wasn’t late. I was five minutes early. Apparently the other parents came very early to pick up their children.
His eyes lit up when he saw me in the doorway. I don’t’ know what he was thinking, but I know what I was thinking when I had to wait.
I know what it is to wait.
My mom was one of the first ones to pick up when I was in preschool and early elementary school.
Things changed when I was in third grade and my parents divorced.
Balancing working full time and motherhood was hard.
We went to school with her so, my sisters and I would just walk down to her room at the end of the day and wait for her to be ready to go.
My mom would drop us off for CCD (religion classes) and we would wait for her to come when class was over.. I remember asking if I could wait outside for her to come so the teacher wouldn’t know I was still waiting.
There were other times when I had to wait too.
It was hard to wait! It wasn’t that I was impatient. It was that it didn’t make me feel important.
Sometimes people run late due to traffic or unforeseen events.
Sometimes people run late because they try to run the last errand on their to do list.
It happens!
It may happen to JDaniel.
I hope it won’t be a habit of mine.
I so want to be the mom that is waiting outside the door for my child to be released back into my care.
I so want him to know that he is important. I so don’t want him to leave him to his thoughts and wonder why he had to wait.
This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday!
P.S. Many of you have mentioned you played rather than waited for your moms. JDaniel has to sit on a line on the carpet and wait to be called to the door to be picked up. I won’t worry so much about being late if I knew he was playing.
When my kids have to wait at school, I always tell myself that’s longer they get to play with the toys there! But, you’re right, they probably get tired of it.
A really interesting post – and room for thought.
XOXO Lola:)
Aww, I hope he never thinks that he’s not important to you because you show him so much love already. We’re never late in picking Ellie up but only because her daycare is in the same building as my husband’s office. Since he gets off work earlier than the usual rush hour, he picks her up on the earlier side.
I do understand how sad it can be to wait for someone to pick you up when all the other kids have already gone home though. When I was young, there were a few times when my grandmother completely lost track of time and forgot to pick me up. I use to be so scared waiting all alone at the school gates for her that I would start crying until one of the nuns saw me and called my parents. I think maybe that’s why I’m a stickler for being punctual these days 🙂
I hate waiting but sometimes you just have to. Sometimes my kids had to wait too but then it couldn’t be helped.My DH always has to wait for me. LOL
Great W wat word.
Very genuine and thoughtful post. I could exactly understand what you mean, for, when my daughter steps out of her school bus, I see a sense of pride on her face as I stand right there to take her in my arms.
Not wanting to wait is not always about patience but about the need to feel wanted and taken care of.
Much food for thought here 🙂
It’s so true – waiting is hard. Even for me now as an adult, what more a kid. I remember my son came back crying one day after he and his friend were the last ones to be picked up from school because his friend’s mom was late. He had a fear of school after that. I had to reassure him everyday for the next 2 weeks that we will never leave him behind. We told him that sometimes, we just can’t help being late because of various reasons.
I never really thought about what children might be feeling if they are the last ones to be picked up, how that might make them feel less important. I always tend to be early, but it gives me something to think about.
Waiting is always difficult. HYe may have to do it once in a while, but, trust me, with a mom like you, he will always know he’s special.
This happens to me every time and it always breaks my heart. I usually go half an hour before the daycare closes (it’s an office daycare) and my son is usually one of a few children left. I can’t even imagine the thoughts that run in his head.
As my kids go back to daycare today (after being out sick for a while), your post has special meaning for me today. I think I’ll make an extra effort to get off just a few minutes early today…
I tend to be early for everything. It’s an obsession. But I will say I think it’s good for kids to learn that sometimes in life you have to wait, as hard as it may be. Hopefully they won’t have to wait too often 😉
Great post!
Feeling unimportant hurts, but there is also a danger of raising a child who thinks he/she is all-important, especially for us, parents of singletons. It’s a hard line to walk, but one thing that I want to accomplish is that she never doubts – I will always come for her, and I will always love her.
It’s something hard for kids to understand. Minutes do seem like forever to them. I remember that feeling, too. In time, he’ll come to understand more. Very sweet and thoughtful post!
Playing Alphabe-Thursday with you,
Cathy
Wedding Bells to Wedding Galore!!!
Awwwww….I am sure he did not feel UN-important!!!! Chin up momma.
Children are more resilient than we give them credit for! I am sure that JDaniel is very aware of just how much his mother loves him. It comes through in every single word you write sweetie!
xxoo,
RMW
When my son was in Kindergarten and I picked him up he always complained that I was too early, he was so busy playing with his friends whose mothers came later, lol !
Doesn’t that seem like one of those things you just can’t get right? I try to be waiting outside when the bell rings because most of the kids are gone within five minutes of school getting out. Still, sometimes they do get out a minute early. And it always happens on the day I’m just a minute late! I think that kids forgive more easily than adults do, so JDaniel is probably less worried about it than you are!
The first week of school, I was just a minute or two late (it was a half week) to pick up my girl. I was so geared into her older brother’s schedule, which lets out of school twenty-five minutes later than my girl, that time got away from me. And I saw her sweet li’l face, wondering where I was. I’ve been early every day since then. And after reading this, I’m thrilled to spend those minutes waiting outside her classroom, knowing that when the door opens, she sees me. :>
lovely take, true, waiting needs patience and faith.
bless your day.
I appreciated how open you were in your post. I definitely want to make my kids feel like a priority.
I am the mom who is usually early to pick up my kids, though I’ve been slacking a little lately. There was also the day I forgot to pick up my daughter when she got out of school early. Whoops! It’s been over a year now. Hopefully she forgot about that. 🙂
Waiting was so hard back then because there were no cell phones. Now if I am a smidge late on pick up days, I get thirteen calls and text messages!
I’m chronically early for everything. I have a life long peeve about being late, it causes me physical pain to arrive late, or to keep someone waiting… I’m also lucky that my life’s circumstances have allowed me to indulge in this peeve of mine…
I remember being late only once to pick up my son when he was in pre-school. He was very upset and I felt so terrible! He was so used to a routine that I was always early and begin to imagine something terrible must have happened. I was only about 5 minutes late, I did wish that the teacher had done more to distract him.
A nice post about waiting and thoughtful responses. I can’t believe for a second that JDaniel could ever believe for long that he was unloved or unimportant to you because he had to wait a few minutes. I agree with those who say children are not so fragile, and they forget fast… As a kid myself I never waited; I was too busy playing.
So hard to wait. Harder on you though. Now I’m worrying about not being there to pick-up my own kiddo as I’ll be at school teaching other people’s kids.
Great post. I read another blog a while back that said something like we have to first teach our kids to trust and then we can teach them to wait or be patient (which I know are two different things). From reading your blog, it seems like you have a relationship built on trust so I bet he wasn’t too worried– but happy to see you! 🙂
I’m sure JDaniel will know he’s important. You sound like a GREAT mom. He’s a very lucky little boy!
Aaaaawwww! It hurts a Moms heart. You sound like a great Mom. I bet he was sitting there just watching everyone.Enjoy, they grow up while you aren’t looking.
The early pick up people kind of get on my nerves if I’m being truthful. I don’t like to feel like I’ve done something “wrong” by picking my child up on time!
I now have 2 in preschool but in different buildings and they have to be picked up at the same time! So, I’m usually early to get one and right on time for the other. I pick the youngest up later usually since, yes, she’s just playing when I get there. 🙂
I know what you mean though. My mom was always there and I want to be as well…
That’s a shame they can’t keep playing, or at least quietly at a table drawing or coloring. Yes, that would be awkward to be sitting there and somebody is always the last one. Maybe you could speak to the school. A coloring table seems a small concession to ease the mind of a child.
I think until I understood that someone would always come for me, I got over the fear of someone not coming. But as a mother you want to keep your child from being afraid you won’t ever come. It breaks your heart thinking how a child might feel.~Ames
Our preschool doesn’t open the classroom door until it is pick up time and it is expected that early parents wait for the door to open.
SIT ON A LINE? I think those people are just a little TOOOOO anal!
Thanks for the nice comment on my post!!
I like your post but I hate structure and I was a terrible student. In the kindergarten once they pried me off my mom’s leg (took two nuns and the elderly kindergarten teacher) I loved waiting for my mom to return for me. As I got older and was able to walk home with friends it made me a happy camper. It is hard to be little with so many rules!
I so know how you’re feeling. When I worked full-time, far away (3 hour round-trip commute) I was almost always the last or 2nd to last mom at preschool pickup. It made me so sad to see my little guy all alone in a dark room, sitting on the floor. It was one of the reasons I quit my job to start a WAHM gig. Hopefully with a few more weeks of pickups under your belt you and JDaniel will feel more comfortable with it.
This one tugged at my heart strings. I was lucky enough to always be waiting when my two were finished for the day – the look on the face if they thought I was late was one I hated to see. I worry about my two little grands who often have to wait – but they are allowed to play, so often their parents are interrupting playtime rather than coming upon worried children.
Amazing how I have blocked all memories of waiting out of my memory. Perhaps I was too busy socializing. Great post and reminder on the special moments we will have with our kids!
great post….and not too many of us like waiting either…but we do…over and over…enjoy all the moments they go by so quickly!
Doggone those early moms! They make it hard on the rest of us! About a year ago, I forgot to pick up my daughter at the ice rink where she had her skating lesson. That had NEVER happened (most of the time I sit and read while she skates–I don’t even leave), but it was a strange set of circumstances that occurred on that particular day. She had to call my husband to come and get her. She was SO scared and I was SO guilt-stricken. I’ve had to re-earn her trust (and am still). If I do leave her (at a birthday party or whatever), I always make sure to return 15–30 minutes early. I just realized that I have now become one of those early moms!!
i hate that they just have to sit there and wait… it would make it easier if they had a toy or two to play with
My mom was rarely late, but my dad always kept us waiting. I remember that the wait seemed interminable.
But it was probably only 5 or 10 minutes!
=)
Being the ‘forgotten’ child seems to happen to us all. And being the ‘forgetting’ parent seems to happen at least once!
This link made me cry. I’m not sure why.
But one thing I do know for certain is I doubt there is a more conscientious and loving Mom in the world than JDanielsMom!
Thanks for a wonderful link.
A+