etiquette Archives - JDaniel4s Mom

As Halloween draws closer and closer I thought it would be a good time to think about they kind of etiquette we would like our children to display while they are trick or treating. Trick or treating around our neighborhoods gives us a wonderful opportunity to interact with neighbors and share our attempts to help our children learn to display good manners.

We still have long way to go in displaying all the great manners that I would like JDaniel to display. There are areas that I have gotten lazy about enforcing. Developing this list of etiquette rules is as much for he and I as it is for you and your family. We are going to rehearse some of them at my house before we trick or treat and others will be just talk about.

Here is my Ultimate Guide to Halloween Tips for Great Etiquette:

Please and Thank You

At some houses you visit they may offer your child a type of treat that they absolutely do not like. Some children will be tempted to say to you or the person offering the treat that they don’t like that candy or they do not want it ever.
There are two ways to handle this dilemma. Your child can tell the neighbor “ No thank you! Can I have a different candy in the bowl instead.” The alternative is to accept all the candy offered and pull it out of their candy haul when you get home. Just because it has been accepted doesn’t mean that you have to eat it. The unliked candy can be given to someone else. (More on that later.)
It may be hard to say thank you for a coconut and almond candy bar that you really don’t like, but it is really important to say thank for candy offered. I think it is good practice for all the thanks you may have to give for presents you don’t love. (Example: A rhinestone Thanksgiving sweater for your birthday. Yes, I got one last year and I thanked the gift giver for it.) Giving thanks for the thoughtfulness of being given a gift is an important lesson to learn.

Crossing Neighbors Yards

In my neighborhood there are no sidewalks. There is a real temptation to run across neighbors yards to get from house to house rather than back down each home’s driveway and then along the curb to the next house.
There are a number reasons for not running across neighbor’s yards. The first is that they may not want you walking across lawns. Some shoes can tear up lawns. If there has been rain, you could even leave dents in their lawn.
There are also safety concerns for you and your family. There may be sprinkler heads that don’t recede into the grass the way they should and neighbors with children may not pick up all the toys that have played with that day. It is very possible that your child could trip and fall.

Introduce Yourself

We haven’t had a lot of neighbors move in or out of the neighborhood this year. In some neighborhoods, there have been a lot of neighbor changes. Trick or treating is an opportunity to introduce yourself to neighbors you have never met.

We have met a number of neighbors while treat or treating in the past few years. We don’t see many of them in the course of a day, week or even during the rest of the year. If we do, it is nice to be able to call them by their names.
If you don’t know the neighbors or the people you are visiting while trick or treating and you don’t feel comfortable sharing your name, I think that is fine too. We live in interesting times and you might not want to share your child’s name with some on you don’t know.

Butting in the Candy Line

We go trick or treating with our next door neighbors. That means there are three boys rushing to get from door to door. I really don’t want JDaniel pushing to the front of the line to be first. The truth is the neighbors are probably going to give the same candy and in the same amount to each of the children. Being first isn’t really going to benefit JDaniel and will just make him seem pushy. This is one of those Halloween tips that will make your neighbors smile.

Going to the Door, But Not in the House

As I mentioned we have met many of our neighbors, but I can’t say I really know each of them well. We will be going to their doors and if we get asked to come in we might. If someone asked JDaniel to come into see how their house was decorated or to see their cute pet on his own, I will be having him say “No”. There are just too many things that are happening to children these days.Each family will need to decide how to handle this. I tend to be a helicopter mom and watch my son closely.

Candy at Home

This is one of those Halloween tips you will want to do before heading out. I think it is really important to discuss that will be happening to the candy after it gets home. Once you have checked over each piece and made sure that the packaging isn’t torn or preopened, there are four w’s to be discussed at my house before we even head out to trick or treat.

The First W is Who

Who will have access to the candy is the first W? Do mom and dad get a cut of the candy or is it all the child’s? The candy bag at my house is a universal bag. We can all take candy from it. If you have more than one child, you may want a universal bag or bowl or each child could have their own bowl.

The Second W is What

What will happen to the load of candy the child has brought home? Will some of it be donated to a charity that will send it to the troop overseas or another charity? Will some be left out to eat and some be put away later.

The Third W is Where

Where will the candy be stored? Is it going to be left out in a bowl on the kitchen table to take from at a approved time? ( It would be dipped into often that way at my house by all of us.) Will the candy be placed in a container in the pantry or on top of the fridge to be doled out when they parents think it is the right time.

The Final W is When

When will the candy be given out? Will it be a piece or two after dinner? Can they take a couple piece in their lunch? Deciding when to give the candy out is up to each family. Some families may decide it is two pieces a day when the child chooses to have it.

Unwanted Candy

If you end up with candy you don’t want, you can give it to a charity or take it to work to place near the community coffee pot. In homes with more than one child you can have them trade candy. I decided when JDaniel was little to put together treat bags to give to neighbors as we trick or treat.

Giving Back Halloween Tips

Halloween can be a time of getting and I really want JDaniel to know how to give to others. I simply place a few pieces for candy into a plastic bag with note saying “ Have a Blessed Halloween! From the Smith’s”.