Today’s Pause Life for a moment blogger is the Empress. She reigns over Good Day, Regular People with a kind heart, a generous spirit, and a sense of fun. I love to stop by to read her posts. Her blog shares her insights as well as her son Baby E’s. Life can get you down at times. The Empress’ posts can brighten your day and can make you laugh, think or cry.
First, JDaniel’s mom, I want to thank you for the special gift of being invited to guest for “Pause Life For a Moment.”
This series you’ve created, just in writing on the topic, allows any guest poster and reader of these words, to pause in their day, and refocus on what is going to matter to us, our families, and our children.
I thank you, for the space you’ve given me here, to “re-focus.”
Women are busier now then they have ever been.
The opportunities, along with the lure of social media, exercise clubs, personal hobbies, working outside of the home or inside the home, is deliciously tempting, and rewarding.
We are no longer lonely women at home, we have friends at the push of a key. Contact with others can be a short 20 minute drive away.
How easy it is to answer the call of instant access to others. Especially when you’ve found yourself feeling isolated, while home with your children.
The pull to go online, or build your social circle, email friends, go on twitter, text, join a cycling club, interact with others, is a very strong one.
It is for me.
How do we, as women, find the time that is necessary to do what matters in life? The important things. To devote ourselves entirely to our families is a saintly goal. One that I tried for, but found that pursuit leaving me resentful, lonely, unhappy, and with a clinical case of depression that did not make for a happy home life for anyone.
I enjoy my interaction with others outside of my family. Conversations and quick exchanges between friends can buoy my mood upward for days.
But, again, the question: how do you FIND the time for special moments for your family? Aside from the necessary of keeping house, preparing meals, grocery shopping, working?
And it isn’t only women who are online that are short on time. There are women who exercise faithfully an hour and a half at a time, daily. There are women who delight in being immersed in a good book for at least an hour of their day. There are women who find joy in their work outside of their home, or who work at home.
Where do we find the time to Pause. And really be in our lives.
I had a light bulb moment a few years ago, and it occurred by accident.
Our mornings here, in my quest for efficiency, ironically in hopes of creating a pocket of “worthwhile” time later, were spent in quick, drill like processes.
Breakfast, washed up, dressed, prayer, boom – start the day.
While my children ate, I’d clean up. So streamlined, in and out in 45 minutes.
One particular day, I noticed my oldest son just kept talking to me, coming over to stand next to me at the kitchen sink, and talking. Thank God I felt the tug in my heart to stop the activity I was involved in, and decided I needed to go sit and listen to him.
When he went back to the kitchen table, I followed him. I pulled up the chair next to him, poured myself some orange juice, and sat to look at him while he spoke. I cleared my mind of my mental to do list.
I listened to my boy.
He had plans, ideas of what he thought he might want to do as an adult. I listened, with my eyes on his face instead of the usual downcast look while I did the dishes, in the hopes of getting a jump on my day.
I watched my beautiful son’s face grow more animated, as he drank in my mental presence. I saw his smile burst big and bright, the longer I sat with him.
I felt my heart grow warm with gratitude. I felt nothing and thought of nothing, but this moment with him.
I was Pausing Life for the Moment.
I was living in it, and I was there with him.
This was a connection, this was joy: on an ordinary morning with no special pre-arranged “time for each other.”
Yes, there should still be an intention of creating moments and time for our children. But, simply put, pauses don’t have to be planned in order to happen.
We just have to recognize them.
And that has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of time in a day.
Please stop by Good Day, Regular People and let the Empress know about a time you pause your day and connected with your kids.