Pause Life for a Moment Archives

Pausing Life for a Moment- Remembering My Dad

June 12, 2012 By Deirdre

Father’s Day is right around the corner so, I thought I would pause for a moment to thank my dad. When I sat down to write this, I realized that I probably haven’t even mentioned him on the blog. He lives about seven hours away from us and we get to see him a few times a year, but he hasn’t appeared in a post yet.

When I was growing up, I had a Leave It To Beaver attitude of what a dad should be and I thought my dad should be just like that dad.

My idea of what a dad should be involved going to an office during the week in a suit and tie. He listened intently to what he children were saying and gave hugs at just the time you needed them.

Well, my dad listened intently to my chatting on and on about writing and encouraged me to do more with it. He was not the type of dad that wore suits to work. Actually he probably wore them when I was very little, but I don’t remember them as I got older.

He loved music, art and plays. So, that is what he took us to. We spent hours in museums looking at modern art, attending concerts or sing a-longs, and once a year going to a play at the Kennedy Center.

He took us to his mother’s apartment too. She lived not to faraway our house. I wrote about visiting her on Sundays in my post Sitting Straight and Tall on Sunday awhile back. She wasn’t always an easy person, but my dad taught me that treating her with dignity was important.

My dad was raised in a very formal home by parents that loved him, but weren’t big on letting him know that or that is the impression I have always had of them. He is not very formal, but he brought with him into adulthood some of the formality he grew up with. Although he has more and more shared how much he loves me. I don’t think his parents were big on saying words of love.

I grew up knowing my dad knew about a lot of things. He was always reading book and newspapers to gain more knowledge. You could ask him about any topic and he seemed to know something about it.

It was hard to really feel like I really knew him when I was little. My parents divorced when I was eight and we saw him mostly on Sundays. As I grew up, I got to know him better and learned that there are many dads that don’t wear suits and every dad is unique and special.

As I mentioned, we don’t get to see him often, but JDaniel has recently decided he likes to call him on the phone and draw him pictures. I am so glad they have made a connection.

I am also thankful that my dad is part of my life and that he shared with me the interests that he loved.

This post is linked to Pour Your Heart Out and Alphabe-Thursday.

Pause Life for a Moment- Faith Filled Food for Moms

June 5, 2012 By Deirdre

Having Shari Lynne here today is a great treat! Her wonderful blog Faithfilled Food for Moms is amazing. She shares everything from how to make your own cheese crackers, to reviews, giveaways and beautifully insightful posts like the one below. After you read her wonderful post, please pause for a moment to leave her a comment and visit her blog.

Proverbs 22:7 says – “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is a servant to the lender.”

So what in the world does that have to do with Time, Masters or Slaves?? I like to manage my time well. Get my chores done, make sure my meals are somewhat planned, calendar updated. Well, you get the picture. However a couple of years ago we moved. In between moving, we stayed at a friends house for 2 and half months until we got into our home. It really threw me for a loop. I have been all discombobulated ever since then.

I normally have a plan for my day. It’s written down and I can pretty much follow it. Lately, however, the day will come to an end and I feel as though it has frittered away in the wind. I look back and feel not so productive. The thing is. That I have accomplished much…BUT..was it what I needed to accomplish? Was I putting out fires? Dealing with the “tyranny of the urgent”. Was I mastering my time with the important things?

Just as the borrower is a servant to the lender so we will become a servant to our time if we do not manage it well. So I have gotten my calendar in order and my meals all planned and my ducks in a row…so why do I still have that nagging feeling that I am still being a Slave to my time rather than the Master?

So this is what I feel the Lord has shown me. It is all good and well to have our calendars and to manage our time well, but we mustn’t think that we can put off some of the most important things for tomorrow that might not be on our calendars. A walk at the park with our husband, kids, grandkids or friends. A puzzle or paint project. A relaxing dinner with our hubby’s. Those quiet reading times all snuggled up with our loved ones.

We mustn’t think as the borrower does. Time cannot be borrowed for we do not know what the future holds. The borrower receives money with the intention of paying back…but anything can happen…a loss of a job..economy goes crazy and before you know it the debt cannot be paid.

And so it is with time. We intend to spend these precious moments with our loved ones and suddenly something changes. People get sick or move away or even die. Or the kids grow up and move away. We really must pause for a moment and ask ourselves “am I the master of my time?” or “am I the slave?”

Does my time have the heart of God, where people come before projects? I have really gotten off kilter with this. I’m back in the saddle with my calendar..but I had fallen back off with my priorities. I had become a slave of my time. Rather than the Master who is in charge of my time and can STOP and take that time for the important. Because I’m the BOSS you see! Well, that is after the Lord!

So do you think you are a Slave or a Master of your time?

Pause Life of a Moment: Packing Prayers Before A Trip

May 29, 2012 By Deirdre

Last Wednesday JDaniel and I headed up north with my sister Michelle from Atlanta’s family to visit my sister Kate in New York’s family.

I knew it was going to be a long car trip. Each family and each member of each individual family was going to come into the trip with their own needs, plans, and timetable.

I tried to anticipate everything Jdaniel would need for the car trip and I asked my mom, who lives in the same town I do, what she would need. I spent time trying to think of every scenario that I thought could and how to be prepared for it.

There was:

A bag of snacks and cooler of drinks.

A bag of activities and a few of JDaniel’s sleepy time friends

The iPad had a few new apps on it and JDaniel got new headphones for the trip.

A backpack contained a change of clothes, bathing suit, and towels for a planned stop at a pool.

I tried to have everything under control.

Preparing for Unplanned Events

Before we left I was reminded by our pastor in his Sunday sermon that , I wasn’t really going to be in total control of the events of the trip. Despite all my planning, things were going to happen or be said that I couldn’t control.

There were going to be six people in the car and I wasn’t going to be able to make decisions for anyone, but me. (Although JDaniel was going to given a lot of guidance.)

The pastor mentioned that God would really be the only one that would be in control and that I needed to lean on His understanding and not my own.

Other people in the car would say and do things that I could over think, react badly too, and not anticipate. I have done that on other trips before.

So after I packed each bag I sent up a prayer.

After I packed the bag of snacks and cooler of drinks, I prayed that we would feel refreshed by our time together and be filled with deliciously wonderful memories.

After I packed the activity bag, I prayed that we would be comfortable with each other and that our words would actively help us grow together as a family.

After I packed the swimming backpack, I prayed that the activities that we would do on this trip fun for all and that we would try to put others first.

Finally with all the bags and our suitcase of clothes packed, I prayed that I would be consistent with JDaniel in what I expect from him. Once we met up with my sister Kate from New York, there were going to be four moms on this trip. Each with different expectations and ways of interacting with their children. I really wanted to be the best mom for the one child I am a mom too and a good aunt to the four children that I am not a mom too.

We don’t get back until tomorrow afternoon! I promise I will let you know how the trip went. Just know that it was probably filled with more prayers of supplication and maybe a little repenting for things I tried to take into my own hands.

This post is linked to Pour Your Heart Out.

Pause Life for a Moment-Mama Mash

May 22, 2012 By Deirdre

I am excited about having Mama Mash sharing here today. Her honest writing style and gift of weaving words lead me back to her blog over and over again. After reading her post below, I know you will too. Please stop by after reading her post and take in more of her words.

Thanks, JDaniel4’s Mom for having me. I never pass a silicon muffin tin at Bed Bath & Beyond without thinking of you. Ever.

I’m always thinking months in advance. I have no idea why I do this, because life has taught me over and over again that my plans do not matter. Someone else is flying this plane, and He’s got a much better view of the future than I do.

This spring I was determined to find a teaching job for next year. Not just any job though, I wanted my job back. The job I left in Texas, at the school I attended as a child. The job where all my friends still worked. The job that was the last one I held that made me happy.

It was all set. There was a math opening and the principal would even interview me via Skype since I was so far away. I began decorating my classroom in my head. I started panicking about childcare, schedules, the possibility of living apart from my husband for awhile.

Everything else in my life faded to a dull roar, a blur in the background. All I could think about was getting out of this city, getting away from bad memories, getting home to my family and friends.

And then I woke up one morning and opened an email that changed it all. As I read the words, “filled in-district,” I could hear brakes screaming in my head as all my plans ground to a halt.

Oh, how I moped. I was the mopiest mope you ever saw. And in the midst of my moping marathon, as I sat on the couch in the same yoga pants and t-shirt I’d worn the day before, my son climbed up in my lap with his nursery rhyme book.

“Read,” he demanded. So read we did, about the weasel that goes pop and the Sprats with their different dietary needs and that guy who is freaking out because he can’t find the Muffin Man.

Then we had cookies and lemonade and we sat on the porch and watched cars drive by, identifying them by their color and getting way too excited when a motorcycle would roar past.

I realized that the more I tried to make things happen, the more I had missed out on what was really happening.

I’m blessed to get to be a stay-at-home mom, especially in this economy. I’m lucky to live in a city that offers so much for its residents to enjoy – one of the biggest reasons we had for moving here in the first place.

And even though I no longer have family in this area, I’ve been blessed over and over again with beautiful friendships, both online and in real life here in Kansas City.

Today I turn 33. I’m not where I thought I’d be, but thanks to one small, sticky-fingered blonde boy, I know how wonderful it is to be where I am.

{Mother’s Day Craft} -His Fingerprints Are Everywhere

May 8, 2012 By Deirdre

His fingerprints are everywhere. When you look at the television screen or computer monitor, you will find JDaniel’s fingerprints. They were all over the walls until they were painted last week. I try to keep up with them, but as soon as I wash them away they return.

I can track his fingerprints around the house. They leave tell tale signs of his travels during the day. His hands are out touching everything as he walks along the hall and climbs the stairs.

There are fingerprint smudges on inside the passenger side window in the back of the car. They have been left behind after pointing out something exciting he has seen that he needed to put his finger on while he was telling me about it.

Despite putting down newspaper before doing a craft there are fingerprints made of glue, paint or glitter are left when his project is done all over the kitchen table.

For some reason there are yogurt and other food smudges that appear on the kitchen table too. Could it be that he still tries to eat with his fingers?

I know that I can’t leave these fingerprints where they are. As I mentioned above they are quickly replaced with new ones as soon as I clean them. Without cleaning them up and wiping them away they would quickly cover every surface of our house. The walls would no longer be antique white. Table would have mountains of crafting materials and food developing in the places that JDaniel sits beside. The doors crusted with finger carried substances and the windows would become opaque.

There is a small part of me that realizes that down the line there will be no small fingerprints left behind. . He will reach a stage where is eats more neatly and crafts more carefully. (Maybe?) I hope he will still have things he want to point out from windows, but he may stop pointing his finger at them through the window.

JDaniel decorated the mat in the frame below with his fingerprints. The mat surrounds a wonderful poem about fingerprints. This Mother’s Day themed poem was a wonderful reminder to me to pause to enjoy the messy fingerprints I keep finding around the house while I can.

These four year old fingerprints are a reminder of the joy he finds in eating, creating, touching his environment and pointing out wonderful things he sees.

What does the poem say?

My dirty little fingerprint I’ve left on every wall

And on the drawers and tabletops, I’ve really marked them all

But here are some that won’t rub off, I’m giving them to you

Because I’m thankful to have a nana that just likes you!

What has been your favorite Mother’s Day gift to give or receive?

Pause Life for a Moment- By Word of Mouth Musing

May 1, 2012 By Deirdre

I am thrilled to have Nicole of By Word of Mouth Musing sharing her thoughts with us today. Her blog is one I love to visit. Her writing is honest and truthful. She loves her family and she shares the joys and challenges that come from being a mom. After reading her guest post below, I know you will want to visit her at By Word of Mouth Musing. While you are there you will want to explore both of her blogs. Yes, she has two blogs! Her welcome page will guide you both of them.

Pausing Life For A Moment …

In this world, there are never enough hours in my day.

Always being pulled this way and that.

Second guessing myself every day on my decision making.

Tomorrow I will make a change, slow down, take a moment …

always tomorrow.

BUT …

One day, I sat back, and I thought – if not now, then when?

And I made a change, I slowed things down and worked on the moment …

And how did I ‘create’ this life changing moment? First, I need to revisit my past …

I was one of the Moms who crossed off the dates in her planner for how many days were left in the school year until my kids didn’t race out of the door in the morning.

Lamented the end of Summer since my kids would once again be gone for hours and hours on end.

And the volunteering … room mom, PTA, fundraising, auctions, fashion shows, crafts, parties, even teaching Sunday school. Volunteering at their school did not bring more joy to my children, they just saw a cranky Mom who was overwhelmed with commitments.

I spent many days wondering how to make a change. Many nights awake, wanting a better fit for my family. With a husband who traveled, a life that seemed to be consuming me, and children who I was sure were just in diapers last week – I had a lot of pause for thought.

Then one day – we just didn’t go back to school. I faxed a letter to the school board, withdrew my then six and ten-year-old’s, ordered curriculum and fudged our way thru the Summer. In the Fall, the first day back at our local schools, we put our family on a plane to Panama and had the best field trip evah. All this with never having met a home schooler, and still convinced they lived in the Australian outback with long braids and pinafore dresses, raising chickens and grinding wheat.

It worked out that it wasn’t so easy to pause life, but I could definitely be more present in my life – and in the lives of my kids. And since I couldn’t turn back time or stop the clock, I decided I would be there for as many moments as time would allow.

Now, believe me, there are days, many of them, where life still is crazed. (and cocktail hour arrives sooner rather than later) For the most part, life is filled with plans and activities of our own choosing.

The girls take some classes out and about, they have social lives, and we travel as often as we can. For example; If Dad is hosting a meeting at the Newark airport, it is not on our wishlist. A beach resort in Mexico, on the other hand, has our names on it. My time is also busy with My Blog and its deadlines, guest posts, writing commitments, and conferences … but this busy is rather self-imposed. After all, the world would hardly notice if I stepped off this somewhat indulgent ‘treadmill’.

But I feel present. I feel in touch.

I am slowing it down because I cannot stop it moving forward.

And I cannot go back.

I am always thrilled to write a guest post.

Being asked to write for someone else’s blog home, lets me know that someone is listening.

Someone else is reading alongside me and wants to share my words with their readers.

It makes me feel I am making a difference and that I matter.

So thank you for having me here.

It means a great deal to me …

and as always

Pause Life for a Moment- His Creation or Mine

April 17, 2012 By Deirdre

JDaniel’s oldest and most dear friend Jake turned four last week. Jake’s mom decided to hold his birthday party at a local firehouse.

She is an expert baker and cake decorator. I was not surprised to see this beautifully decorated fire truck at his party.

Before we headed over to the party I suggested to JDaniel that he draw a fire truck that we could place in Jake’s present bag instead of making or buying a birthday card.

I laid out crayons and copy paper for both of us to draw on. This was going to be an opportunity to teach JDaniel how to draw a simple fire truck using simple squares, rectangles, and circles. I would show him how to draw one and then he would create his own version of the fire truck.

Once things were set up on the kitchen table, I called him over to create with me.

He took a seat right next to me and listened to my plan. He watched me show him how to create a fire truck. When I had finished, he pronounced it to be a very nice fire truck.

Now it was his turn to create a fire truck. I had given him an example of what the final product should look like. I waited with bated breath to see what he would create.

He selected a red crayon just as I had. He placed it on the paper and made a gigantic circle. A circle wasn’t needed until it was time for the fire truck to be done and then it won’t need that big of a wheel.

He continued drawing adding several dots and some long and short lines to the circle.

The teacher in me started to think about what I have said wrong in my directions that lead to a big circle and not a square or rectangle.

The teacher continued to wonder if he had forgotten how to draw a rectangle or a square. Maybe I had only dreamed that he knew how to draw them in the first place.

Finally, the mom in me kicked in and finally asked JDaniel what he was drawing.

“Oh! I am drawing a fire cat! Jake loves cats and fire. I thought he would love this.” JDaniel announced.

“Should I write down what it is on the paper?” I asked.

JDaniel looked horrified. “Mom, he will know what it is!” JDaniel declared.

Part of me wanted to write down what it was! Part of me wanted it to be a truck just like the one I had drawn.

The wise part of me paused for a moment and realized that this wasn’t my drawing it was his. That wise mom part stopped to think about how JDaniel would feel if I insisted on it being my way.

It is that wise mom part that I hope will prevail in instances like this and remember that when JDaniel creates the creation he makes is his not mine.

Pause Life for a Moment- A Break in the Routine

April 10, 2012 By Deirdre

I am a creature of habit and routine. Having a schedule that stays pretty much the same from week to week is something that helps me feel relaxed and more or less stress-free.

The time JDaniel wakes up rarely varies. He tends to be up by 6:00 and is dying to eat breakfast shortly thereafter.

Lunch is a little before of afternoon. It tends to be later on days JDaniel has preschool.

Quiet time in in the early afternoon followed by a small snack.

Crafting, learning activities, brief times of outdoor play, and cooking projects round out the afternoon.

Then it is dinnertime followed by some playtime followed by a bath followed by story reading and a little YouTube with dad.

I try to get most of the housework done on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Blog post writing is done on Thursday mornings while JDaniel is in preschool

This past week during spring breaks our routine changed. The only things that stayed the same were breakfast and dinner times.

My family came to visit me. We loved having them. They were really flexible about meal times and when we did activities, but things changed just because they needed to.

Things like cleaning and laundry got set aside because spending time with family while they were at our house was more important. My nephews are growing into teens to quickly. My sister’s life at home is busy with work, driving her children to activities, and managing her home. Time to chat with her is hard to come by at times.

Blog writing wasn’t done. I did keep up with most of the comments and a little social media. My family was more important for the reasons stated above.

This past weekend we went to visit my husband’s mom for the first part of the weekend and had my mom over for the day on Easter. Both were wonderful times of family fellowship. We are so blessed to have them both living nearby. Spending time with them was so worth changing our schedule.

This week our regular schedule is starting to fall into place and while I am glad we got to spend time with special people in our lives having our regular schedule back is so restful.

Knowing that the laundry is already caught up, the kitchen floor is clean, there are no dishes in the sink and a few other things household things are done is such a stress release. Watching things pile up last week was hard at times.

Changing our schedule from time to time is wonderful. It shakes things up and makes them focus on things beyond dust bunnies and laundry piles. It helps to focus on people that are important to us. With that said it was great to pause in our lives for a moment, but I am glad to be moving back to the regular routine.

This post is linked to Happy Family Times.

Pause Life for a Moment- Literal Mom

April 3, 2012 By Deirdre

You are in for such a treat! Melissa of Literal Mom is an amazing mom and word weaver. Word weavers have the gift of painting pictures with words and leaving you with a feeling that you have just read something very special. Just take a moment to read what she has shared in her guest post below and on her own blog when you have finished. You will be so glad you did.

Mid March through the end of April brings an interesting scenario to our lives. Each child’s Spring Break fell in different weeks. My husband’s still buried in Tax Season, so pulling one child out to go on a family Spring Break during the other child’s break won’t work. And to top it off, because of Tax Season, we’ve planned our family trip for late April, when neither child will be off. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. And a little put-out, frankly. While my husband was chugging away at his job in a time when he’s at his busiest (read: never home), I’m going to lose a ton of productivity not one week, but two! And then after that, comes our family vacation. Another week lost.

Until I realized that I’d been given a gift. A gift of private, quality time with each child, individually, for an entire week. A week where we could either go where the wind blew us or carefully plan what THAT child wanted to do without any input (read: vocal objections) from her sister.

And a gift it’s turning out to be. In ways I didn’t really expect.

For example, both of my children picked the zoo as a special place to go on their week off. One child wanted to stay for less than one hour when we went. She just wasn’t feeling it that day. At all. And guess what? If her sister had been along, we would have never been able to leave within the hour. Because her sister? We will be there 5 hours, easily. And I’ll STILL have to cut short some of the things she wants to do.

And the movie The Lorax. We saw it as a family. Then my youngest wanted to see it again as her “movie day.” We had a great time together, just she and I. No jockeying over who’s sitting where, who had their arm on the seat, who gets what snack. And guess what? This week when my oldest is off? She wants to see The Lorax again too!

I’m tempted to say, “Good Heavens, this is ridiculous. I’m doing the same things with each child on their week off that I could be doing with both of them to save time!”

I could easily say that because it would be true.

But instead, I’m treasuring each moment, replay that it is for me, with each child. Alone. Because I don’t often get private time with just one of them. And I get to appreciate each girl in a way that SHE needs to be appreciated, not in a way that’s balancing between their two needs simultaneously.

And when we (finally!) take our family trip at the end of April, both of their emotional tanks will be full because I’ll have been able to spend not just a moment, but an entire week pausing with them. Drinking them in. Loving them for their unique qualities.

And that gift may not come again next year. So this year I’m appreciating every minute of it.

Pause Life for a Moment-Preppy Girl in Pink

March 27, 2012 By Deirdre

Preppy Girl in Pink is such a fun blog to visit! Kristen loves being a mom and you can read that in her wonderful posts about her family. I so enjoy visiting to see what her family has been up to and Kristen’s wonderful insights on motherhood.

Kristen is also an amazing commenter. I love getting to read what she has thought about one of my posts. We are blessed with the opportunity today to get to comment on one of her posts today on Pause Life for a Moment.

I have to tell all of you that I was honored when JDaniel4’s Mom invited me to participate in “Pause Life for a Moment”. I wish I would’ve known about blogs when my girls were younger because a blog like this one, makes it easy to pause life for a moment with your children. There are so many fun ideas on this blog that I always try to make them a bit older for my own girls or I make notes for when I have younger kids over to our home.

My New Year’s resolution was to actually slow down, show patience and focus on my family more. So many times we let life get in the way of fully living. I looked up one day and my girls were older than I knew and needed me less. My heart reminded me that our time together doesn’t have to be about need, it can also be about want.

I started thinking about a family project. I knew that if we could come up with something that we all loved doing that we would reap the benefits for years to come and that it would always give us reason to pause life for a moment.

I wanted us to do something big…something that would take a lot of effort for us to make happen. I wanted something that would bring us together and keep us close…close in our hearts and close in our thoughts. I wanted it to be something that we all didn’t need but would want.

We talked a bit about a few different ideas but the one that came first and the one that kept coming back to us in our discussion was a very large butterfly garden. We will begin to break ground in just a few weeks and we decided on an island that we have in the middle of our driveway that has never truly shown its full potential.

When we talked about what we could do as a special family project, a butterfly garden just made sense. My girls have always loved butterflies because their Great Grandmother (whom they called GG) loved them. She had them in every room of her home, wore them on her necklaces, and always pointed them out to my girls when we were out and about. When their GG passed away, there was a butterfly that seemed to watch over the burial service from a headstone close by. My girls (and I, truthfully) believe that it was GG’s spirit. Since then, butterflies are a connection that they hold close to the fun memories and love that they shared with their GG.

We plan to not only pause life for a moment when spending time with our girls planning out and planting our new butterfly garden but also when it is completed. We want them to see the beauty that can come from the soil. We want them to smell the fragrance that can come from a budding flower. We want them to hear the music of the butterflies flapping their wings. We want them to pause life for a moment and not only be reminded of their GG but their life right there at that moment. We want them to give thanks for the time that they are allowed for true reflection and peace as a family.

We want them to learn how to pause life for a moment when they are young so that when they are older it will become a natural thing, not something they have to put on their calendar like a dental appointment. We want them to know that with just a short amount of time in a place that is surrounded not only with beauty but created with love that there is always a safe place to land…just like this garden will be for a butterfly.