I hadn’t realized the many ways I say yes to JDaniel during the day. It really wasn’t until I decided to have him say, “Yes, Ma’am” the way my husband does that I really picked up on what I had been saying and how JDaniel was saying “yes”. There was the yup, yeah, uh-huh, right, ya, and yes.
When you are trying to correct him by saying, the words “Yes, Ma’am” you notice that “yes” is said many times in every hour. I haven’t been keeping count, but think it must be at least twenty times yesterday morning. He says it enthusiastically when he really wants something. When he doesn’t, he slips back to “uh-huh” or “ya” a lot.
I know it is an old fashioned way of saying yes to any adult. There are many of you that may think it is outdated or just be thrilled your child is saying anything that sounds like “yes”. There are probably a few of you if you live in the South that think there isn’t any other way to say “yes” to an adult.
I didn’t grow up saying “Yes, ma’am”. At my husband’s family gatherings I am the only one who doesn’t say it naturally as if from childhood. Since they say it, I thought I would teach it to my son.
(Visited 181 times, 1 visits today)
Personally I based the relationship with my children on love and tenderness, rather than obedience and etiquette, so this is not my case, but sometimes my system fails.
So may be virtue stands in the middle.
Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog.
here in NZ the children are sometimes taught to respond to any teacher with “Yes, Sir”, “Yes, Miss” or “Yes, Ma’am.” I haven’t heard it at my boy’s school, though.
What I always notice when I really listen is how my children’s style of response mirrors mine – my mood, my slang, and my own impoliteness. Makes me sit up and concentrate on what I’m saying, too! 🙂
No matter what, politeness can go a long way. 🙂
Yes M’am wouldn’t happen up here. It just sounds “out there” and maybe even “smartass”. It would be said with a Firm I’m in the army tone if anything.
A simple yes is all I want to hear.
“Yes Ma’am” would sound sarcastic here in the northeast, but I fully appreciate what you’re teaching him. Parents know what’s best for their own children.
I realized that my son mimics me by saying both “Yes” (yesh) and “Yeah” (yuh) throughout the day, making me realize just how often I say it as well.
When i moved to Texas from the north, I was shocked when all of my students said yes mam. I think it is excellent manners!
I know what you mean! And using Miss Liz and Mr Craig in the South.
I don’t think I have heard anyone use yes ma’am in California regularly. It’s such a polite thing to do! I like it!
Thank you for the visit and comment on my blog. Yes Ma’am and yes sir, are rarely used where I am from. In our home, we use Yes mom and yes dad when our children need to respond to us…it reminds them that they are not speaking to a peer (no matter how mad they might be at us.) However, the children are expected to respond to their grandparents with ma’am and sir. They also are required to address all adults by Mr. or Mrs. Some adults don’t want to be reffered to as Mrs . Smith so they request to be called by ther first name…so my children still have to cal them Mrs. Dianna or such instead. Teaching your children respect is highly underrated in this day and age.
That’s a great tool for him. I always called my friends parents my Mr. or Mrs. and nowdays we are called by our first names. Time really does change things doesn’t it?
I grew up in Texas, and have lived here most of my life. Yes sir and yes ma’am is expected from everyone. (I even say it to my nieces, nephews and children sometimes!) I never realized that this wasn’t something that everyone says until a friend from California said that she had NEVER heard anyone say it until she moved to Texas. I was so surprised!
And I completely get having to watch what comes out of your mouth when monitoring what comes out of your child’s mouth…in fact that was part of one of my Not Me Mondays a few weeks ago.
@Sara…I completely agree about the Mr. and Mrs. It doesn’t matter to me if we use the person’s first or last name, but every adult has a title to my children.
My son is so behind on speech, I’m happy if he says anything!! Props to you guys!! 🙂
My daughter always use to say, “yeah”, but we worked on getting the “yes” instead. Working on that, we realized just how many times my husband and I both say, “yeah”. But, to elders, it is “yes”.
In the Northeast, I wasn’t raised to say “Yes, ma’am,” but I sometimes find myself saying it in formal situations. I love all the regional and cultural variations we see even within the same language!
I think manners are good whichever way their being taught! =)
I grew up saying it and I still do, even in England. I do get looks sometimes but I think it’s nice to have some kind of etiquette. I’ll probably teach it to my kids, too. Too many kids these days just say what they like, I think. It’d be nice if everyone used some variation of this. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I think it’s adorable that you got your son to say “yes ma’am,” although I can’t actually imagine myself using the term genuinely without seeming like I’m mocking someone. Yet, if it’s a big part of where your husband comes from and how he was raised then props to you for teaching your son so well!
Ma’am is casual speech around the south. Some people point out how I talk, it’s just my southern accent.
oh, broxton will be a yes ma’am and yes sir kid!
I know it is a southern thing, but it bothers me when kids dont say it… to me, it is a respect thing! 🙂
I think it’s a personal thing, but saying it doesn’t make a child more well-behaved. My boyfriend’s daughter says, “ma’am” and “sir.” I grew up calling most adults by their first names (as has my daughter) and not saying “ma’am” and “sir.”
My boyfriend’s daughter has learned the art of manipulation and subtle disrespect, while my daughter is one of the most respectful and easy children I ever knew. And she’s a teenager!
That’s not to say that saying it or not saying it will have a specific outcome. Just that saying it alone isn’t going to give you the outcome you’re looking for. As long as you do other things right, what your kids call adults won’t matter in their behavior.
I think it’s great that you’re teaching your son respect. What that looks like to you is a personal decision based on your values, culture and upbringing. If a little boy said “yes ma’am” to me, I’d be so impressed, I’d probably pat him on the head and give him a cookie. Assuming that was okay with his mother. 🙂