Taking Time for Table Talk
When we got home last week, the first thing JDaniel wanted to do was to play with the neighbor boys next door. I usually sit outside in a folding chair to supervise their play and I gathered some more information about his day by listening to what he shared with them, but I yearned to hear more.
I sat on the edge of my seat taking it all in. All the things I was dying to hear about were being shared. I was in Mom Heaven.
When he was done with his snack, he headed outside to play with the boys next door. I headed outside to supervise they boys playing. Neither of us was frustrated with the other for trying to share or not share about school.
Taking a few moments sit and enjoy a snack has become a routine with us. I hope it is one we will continue to do for a long time. His sharing during afternoon snack is like food for my heart and I love it.
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Pierce didn’t share much his first year in school, but he’s gotten much more talkative about it this year.
That is a wonderful routine to get into! I hope he always loves telling you about his day. My daughter is like that. From the moment she gets in the car from carpool until dinner she is a non-stop information machine. I feel like I know exactly what happened at every minute of her day. My son, on the other hand, it takes a crow bar to even get the tinniest bit of info out of him and always has! –Lisa
oh my goodness, my boy just started Kindergarten and he is doing this. It’s driving me crazy to know if he is making friends or having fun or learning anything. He says “I had a great day” and then nothing. We ask questions and the answer is “I don’t want to talk about it” which makes me wonder if he is getting in trouble or having trouble making friends. I’m dying for Open House night so I can see if the teacher has any insight into how he is doing! I think I’ll try this “trick” tonight!
I love that you have found this special routine that works so well for you. I find that my daughter opens up over snacks, too. Maybe those cookies are magical?
That’s a really great idea!
I noticed last year that if I asked too many questions, my daughter would screech, “I don’t want to tell it!” That shut it down really fast. If I said nothing and then we drove home and had snacks, she’d spill. The problem was that by the time my husband got home from work after dinnertime, she wouldn’t be bursting to share anymore. She’d think she said what she wanted to say to me, and would clam up. So I am trying to think of ways she can have that special share time with him too. Or us at the same time.
My kids often opened up the most at bedtime. They would just go on and on and I loved it!
Oh, I love this. Bubby starts sharing about his morning at preschool about 3/4 of the way home – or sometimes when we get home. If I ask too much right away, he doesn’t want to say anything. His sharing also just comes out in little spurts throughout our afternoon or when he talks to Daddy or his grandma on the phone.
Communication…Priceless! May it last all the way through adulthood!
I’m glad he had a good day!
I started off asking then just like you stopped and listenned. Helps in many situations
Even now with mine being 21-28 listening is the best part
I can only imagine what it be like when my little girl is actually going to school and talk about it when she gets home. That’s really a good idea.
Hugs,
Scudds
They love to share in their own time, sometimes asking too many questions quiets them up.
The Car! You’re both strapped in with no-where to go (except where you’re driving to!) and the conversation just rolls along too!
Hope my post gives you a giggle today!
Wrenx
Looks like you’ve found the key! I’ve learned that when I ask my granddaughter what she did at school that day, she “doesn’t remember” but if I just put an idea out there, and wait, she will go on and on!
Aren’t kids just so fabulous?!!
It is hard to find out what happened at school. I ask their friends when I am driving them around in the car. I also ask a mom that is like my oldest’s second mom.
Ahhh.. I love this story…
My daughter is normally pretty talkative, but she also was reluctant to share much about her school times in kindergarten. I learned not to press her for information and wait for “unwinding time” later in a day. What really helped a lot this year is teacher communication. She actually has kids to paste a small printout into their journals describing what they are learning about and about special events. This helps me to ask more pointed questions.
Another thing that really helped my daughter to open up more and also to focus on positive is a “happiness game” that we play in the evenings before bed. We take turns telling each other what made us happy today, and that’s when she remembers details that she forgot to mention earlier, because she wants to win this game. Perhaps you can try it out too.
we do the same… sort of…
when he gets in the car, i ask questions…
then, when he is home, we have a snack and he talks…
i love these moments.
Mine are grown now but with the grands it is the same as when my boys were little …at a meal, or jibber-jabbering in the car, or perhaps when they are getting a bath….you get tidbits here and there and then piece them all together 🙂
With my GROWN sons ? At a family meal…sometimes on the phone but more when they are here eating 🙂
It’s funny, my daughter and I always have the “how was your day” conversation when I pick her up from school. The entire 20 minutes home we talk about her day, what went well, what didn’t, and I always help her out and suggest things for her. Never as a mom, but as a suggestion…she likes it that way. 🙂
All three of mine are different! One cannot stop talking the whole way home, one shares after she eats, and with the other it’s bits and pieces here and there and more before bed. Kids are so funny! I’m glad you found what worked because I know how you feel about wanting to know what school is like for them!
Sounds like a good mothering day.
My boys, now ADULT boys, respond best to a good listener. If I get too involved in the conversation, they shut down.
=)
I love this! Bedtime is our chatty time when it comes to the things I want to know that she won’t just come out and say. I think she sort of shelves them when she gets home, relieved to be home, and then as she unwinds it comes out. 🙂
This does sound like a perfect and practical way for the both of you to provide the little, but oh so important, events of the day…
My family and I go around the dinner table and share the best thing about each of our days, the one thing we would do different, if anything and our least favorite part of the day… We try to focus on the positive and look at the negative from a different perspective…
Here is to many more snack-filled afternoon share sessions…
Priceless post for the letter “P”…
Thanks for linking.
A+