I sat against the wall in the pool area watching JDaniel participate in his first big kid swimming class last week. We had take the Mommy and Me class when he was about one. Now he declared he didn’t need me. He was one of the big kids.
He maybe one of the big kids in the age 2-4 swimming class, but he also one of the most fearful of the water. I am not sure why he is afraid of it. I have a fear of water, but I have tried really hard not to pass it on to me.
I don’t fear water totally. I just fear having it in my eyes and ears. It first filled me when I was sent tumbling in waves at the beach when I was little. It interfered with my learning to swim well in Girl Scout Camp as a 3rd, 4th , and 5th grader. I would try to learn to swim identifiable strokes. By the end of camp as a 5th grader could identify my elementary backstroke but the other strokes continued to allude me.
I ended up having to take a swimming class in college . The teacher’s college I attended required you pass a swimming test to graduate. You had to dive in and perform four identifiable strokes . I passed the test given at the end of the class, but only because they counted the froglike cannonball I performed as a dive. After a semester of practicing I had finally learned those four strokes.
Now I sat watching my little guy fussing at the instructor when she pried his hands away from the wall to practice making ice cream scoop hands while she held him like a football at her side. He was supposed to be trying to kick that the same time, but it was hard to scoop, kick and fuss at the same time.
When he was returned to the wall he was supposed to practice kicking while facing the wall. Every now and then one little foot would lift high enough to create a small splash in the water. The other children had tsunamis flowing from the wakes of their kicks. JDaniel never seemed to notice them.
I wanted to jump up and encourage him. I wanted to praise the tiny kicks and challenge him to create big splashes , but I remained by the wall. It wasn’t time for me to teach him. He needed to learn from his swim teachers and the other children around him.
As class wore on they shifted from stroking and kicking on their bellies to lying of their backs when it was their turn with the instructor.
JDaniel struggled to trust that the teacher would hold on to him. He would pull his head up and try to twist onto his belly. The patient teacher would turn him back over and carefully pull his head back. While I am sure she wanted him to kick, she slowly glided his still tense body around the pool encouraging him to relax.
When he once again return to the wall, he would look towards me and I would give him virtual high fives and thumbs up. I wanted to him to know I acknowledge the small victory he had achieved by laying in the teacher’s arms and relaxing if only for a few minutes.
During JDaniel’s time in the pool I had a chance to pause and think about this fear of water that I have and the other fears that I have carried at various times in my life. They are just like JDaniel learning to float on his back. He tries to hand over the fear to the teacher and trust that she will keep him safe, but he can’t completely. He ends up with one arm wrapped around the teacher’s neck. He ends up trusting himself and the his ability to hold on tight to her.
I hope for his sake and for mine that we can both let go of this fear and the others that come up in life. I hope we will trust that we will make it through them and be able to let them float away.
I am linking this post to Pour Your Heart Out on Things I Can’t Say!
How brave of JDaniel and you as well! I bet he’ll be an avid swimmer in no time at all!
I’m sure that through your example of courage and bravery, JDaniel will be a very confident and courageous young man!
It is really brave for him at this age! It’s good that you are getting him used to the water this early on! In time he will take the water, I know it!
I’m sure with more exposure to swimming and as he gets used to the water and to floating, he will eventually let go of that fear. I should think of starting my son on swimming soon. It’s always good to start them young.
Hope he gets over some of his fear. I remember being the same way when I had lessons as a kid, but I ended up really liking the water. We have the opposite problem where my daughter has no fear and no concept that the water is dangerous. I can’t wait ’till she’s old enough to learn how to swim so I can worry less!
I bet he grows to really love it once he gets more comfortable. Like Pierce with soccer camp – the first couple of days were rough but by then end he’d made the best of it and was enjoying himself 🙂
You are so wise to sit back and “not” be the teacher. That’s the hardest thing for me to do at swimming lessons.
Which, by the way, my boys screamed their way through for the first three sessions.
I always work so hard not to let my girls see when I’m afraid so that they don’t “catch” my fears. I’m scared to death of storms, but I hide it when I’m with the girls so they can awe in wonder at the awesomeness of it all. It’s actually helping me, too. I’m forced to face my fears little by little and I’m not AS afraid as I used to be.
I think it’s great that you’re reigning yourself in and not allowing yourself to cheer and encourage at every little interval. It’s HARD not to do that, but I think it’s a delicate balance we have to maintain to keep our children grounded.
I try not to let my kids see when something scares me so that I don’t instill those same fears in them. Great job with the lessons! I’m sure he’ll be swimming in no time!
Hopeful him starting at such a young age & with commitment and time he will overcome it. Sadly, I don’t know how to swim & a couple incident when I was younger really put fear in me. I’ve haven’t been able to lear & I’ve passed that to my children by not allowing them to learn.
It’s so hard to let go of our little ones like that. I hope that he learns to let go of his fear!
With a patient teacher JDaniel can conquer his fear of water. Before too long he will be swimming like a fish.
(stopping by from PYHO)
this is very brave for both of you!
we want to get broxton in swim lessons, just have not found one yet…