We can focus on the deep water covering the path we are on or find the joy of seeing a bridge at the end of it. |
I have decided to find joy in the challenging situations I am in this year. Instead of making a set of New Year’s resolutions this year I am choosing to focus on joy. As I mentioned last week things here are a little bleak. My husband is back in school after losing his job and my mom’s health is very unstable. It would be very easy to go through each day filled with anger and dread of what will happen next.
Yesterday we went by to see my mom in the rehab center she is staying in. The nurses came in as soon as I arrived. They wanted me to know that she isn’t eating and spends most of her day with her eyes closed. She doesn’t seem to want to respond the m or even be there. I don’t blame her. She has been through so much. There have been many tests, scans and procedures in the six weeks since she entered the hospital. The food she is been given is mushy and very much like baby food. Last Friday when she arrived she ate spoonful after spoonful of it when she first arrived. I think she hoped it would get better as she ate. Until her legs get stronger she has to stay in bed or be moved to a chair with a lift. Yes, right now her life is bleak and she is silently very angry.
We don’t know if the doctors will find cancer when they do a procedure to remove the stints in her liver and explore the pancreas next month. At this point, we don’t know much and she knows just about the same things we do.
Yet I know that each day is a gift and we are not promised tomorrow. We can choose to live a day in bleakness and anger or try to find joy. Even small moments of joy in a bleak day can brighten it a little. I talked her about just that yesterday. She opened her eyes and I squeezed her hand as I shared with her.
Will she choose joy? Can she through the mental illness she already had prior to this decline find a way to even think of joy? Can she open her eyes to the small and wonderful things that God has given her? Really only God knows.
JDaniel and I have started sharing 5 things about our day that filled us with joy or that we are thankful for each night after saying his bedtime prayers. I think I am going to try this exercise with my mom when I go to see her on Thursday. Even if she doesn’t choose to participate with 5 things of her own she will get to hear mine.
Why don’t you join me in trying to find things in our lives that bring us joy or that we are thankful for?
We don’t know if the doctors will find cancer when they do a procedure to remove the stints in her liver and explore the pancreas next month. At this point, we don’t know much and she knows just about the same things we do.
Yet I know that each day is a gift and we are not promised tomorrow. We can choose to live a day in bleakness and anger or try to find joy. Even small moments of joy in a bleak day can brighten it a little. I talked her about just that yesterday. She opened her eyes and I squeezed her hand as I shared with her.
Will she choose joy? Can she through the mental illness she already had prior to this decline find a way to even think of joy? Can she open her eyes to the small and wonderful things that God has given her? Really only God knows.
JDaniel and I have started sharing 5 things about our day that filled us with joy or that we are thankful for each night after saying his bedtime prayers. I think I am going to try this exercise with my mom when I go to see her on Thursday. Even if she doesn’t choose to participate with 5 things of her own she will get to hear mine.
Why don’t you join me in trying to find things in our lives that bring us joy or that we are thankful for?
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Phyllis says
Yes, I had much the same thing in 2013. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I lost my best friend of 40 years, we moved twice, we had to replace our furnace…you get the idea. We did find our joy, however.
http://homeschooljournal-bergblog.blogspot.com/2013/12/2013a-difficult-year-that-we-made.html
OneMommy says
Praying that she chooses to find a little joy. I know this can not be easy for any of you.
I am sure she appreciates you being there and talking with her, even if she doesn’t seem interested.
Sending prayers your way!
Natalie AfterschoolForSmartyPants says
It’s so difficult when the loved one declines in health and in their abilities to enjoy life. My MIL struggled with Alzheimer and cancer through the last three years of her life. Sadly, she didn’t find joy, and these years were difficult for all of us. I hope your mother will be spared this long suffering and you will find solace knowing that you are there for her. (((Hugs)))
Barbara says
I continue to pray for your family and your mother. Choosing to find joy is such a positive outlook.
Tiggeriffic says
Prayers for you is all I can do..Your mom would love it if you sang to her..An old hymn.. My mom died of cancer when I was 22 and I took care of her.. I would sing some hymns and she would just lay there with her eyes closed and smiled. She loved God with all her heart and After she died I was so sad and then realized ~ I will see her again someday.. God promises that if we love him with all our heart soul and mind and ask him into our hearts we will have eternal life. Keep your eyes on Jesus and he will give you strength to get through all this.. I have always chose joy throughout my life.. If life throws you a Lemon..make it into Lemonade:)
Have a Tiggeriffic Day~! ta ta for now from Iowa:)
Tamara Camera says
I love talking about and finding joy. It’s a great exercise for JDaniel, for your mom, and for YOU. I hope you all find peace and joy and good health.
Holly says
So sorry to hear about your mom. Thinking of you and her! Hoping she can find some joy in her days. It’s great that you can too. I know in a situation like this, it’s easy to look past the good but you have a great attitude. Just know others are out there thinking of you and you are not alone!
Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says
Your mom is lucky to have you by her side with such positivity.
Deceptively Educational says
I admire your attitude. Thank you for sharing. This does indeed sound like a bleak time but with love and optimism, you can (and will) still find joy. Each day at dinner we go around the table and share the best part of the day. It is a wonderful way to reflect and acknowledge even the smallest things. I love hearing what my husband and two boys share!
Ginny Marie says
I’m so sorry your life is so full of challenges right now! Praying for you, your mom and your family. Hang in there, and keep sharing the joy. You are an amazing woman.
Andie Jaye says
oh sweets… what a tough time for your family. I love the thought of finding joy in each day. it’s those little slivers of light amid the darkness that remind us that God’s grace is indeed still with us. you remain in my prayers.
jfb57 says
It certainly is a challenging time for you all. I have started a gratitude jar to remind me every day of the wonders of my life and the world. I make myself find something each day so that, like you, I am not thinking of the negatives. Hugs to you at this time!
Ness says
You are such a strong and wonderful wife, mother and daughter. What a wonderful attitude you have and what a fantastic example you are setting for JDaniel. I’m keeping you all in my prayers. I know it may not feel like it right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
~ Noelle says
praying for you and your family …
hugs to you all
Gattina says
A sad start in the New Year for your mom ! Hope she will get better !
Sarah~Magnolia Surprise says
What an important lesson to teach JDaniel — there is always sunshine behind those grey clouds. I’m sure that your mother will respond — perhaps, as you say, not with her own thoughts, but she’ll hear yours. Keep it up and I’ll bet anything that she will start to speak of her thankfulness — and of her anger too, which is just as important so that it is not kept inside. Hugs to you….
Tracy Cook says
yours is an attitude I have had since the day after my ex husband left me.
I have started a gratitude jar I plan to put one or more thanks in it a day
Erica MomandKiddo says
You have such a good attitude, Deirdre. Wishing you the best.
Sue says
Some years are just plain hard, aren’t they? And having had mental illness in my family, I know how hard it is to encourage joy where depression holds reign. I pray that you will find a way to help her do that, but even if not, you are helping your son to learn how to preserve a positive attitude even in the bleakest of times. And that is a blessing.
Something that might cheer your mom is to bring in some lotion or oil with a lovely scent and give her a gentle hand massage. It is so soothing and pleasurable.
Hugs.
AiringMyDirtyLaundry says
I love your attitude. I hope everything works out!
Mia says
I’m so sorry for what your mom is going through. My prayers are with you all!
totschooltotallyawesome says
This is such an inspiring post! Sending prayers, I pray your Mom feels better. I am sure she appreciates your efforts. You are such an inspiration.
Melody Harrison says
You do know that I always get inspired by your post. Your attitude towards things are incredible. My prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Melody
Jen says
Oh…I bet your mom will be so blessed by your 5 things. Such a sweet post. It is hard to find the joy sometimes…praying for your mom and for joy for you all.
fredamans says
Got ya’ll in my prayers!
I’ll definitely try to take each day for the best and be thankful! With you all the way!
Jenny says
Here, here!
I am happy to hear that you are doing things to focus on the positive during such a hard time in your life…
Hang in there!
Thanks for linking to the letter “H”!
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