Thoughts from Mommy of a Monster and Twins
I opened the front door and was immediately hit with a wall of heat. It was a typical summer day in Southern California, and by 9 in the morning was already unbearably hot. I had a million things to do: blog posts to write, freelance writing to get done, not to mention laundry and cleaning to do. And on top of that, the kids spilled juice all over the floor at breakfast which meant that I was also going to get to mop my kitchen floor for the second day in a row.
I wasn’t looking forward to doing any of it. But it had to get done, so I got to it first thing in the morning, by taking out the trash. And of course while I was out there, I noticed the weeds that needed to be pulled and the leaves that had to be raked up. Two more things to add to the never-ending To Do list.
The kids ran outside, Lila and Mia in their diapers and Ethan in his swim trunks. “Mom!”, he said. “It’s so nice and sunny! Can we play in the sprinklers?”
“No Ethan. I have too much work to do.”
“You have to get on the computer again? You are always on the computer! Can’t you just play with us?”
Then the two-year-old twins chimed in with “Play, Mommy! Play!”
Which is exactly what I decided to do.
Because the computer, the writing, the blog reading and writing will always be there and there will always be too much of it to ever finish completely. In 20 years, when my kids are (hopefully!) out of the house, I know I will look back on these days and wish that I would’ve spent more time with them, having fun and enjoying them.
So the last couple of weeks, I have been on the computer less and less. In fact, on Friday and Saturday I didn’t check emails or write anything! I have been pausing the everyday chaos of life and enjoying my children – watching them run and play and laugh and learn. I have been taking pleasure in those small moments that I know are really the big ones.
And guess what? I honestly haven’t missed the computer all that much. I think a lot of us bloggers get sucked in to feeling like we have to be on the computer 24/7 or that we might miss something. I’m trying to find the balance of both worlds instead of being slave to just the one…even though I love it and could never give it up entirely.
I realize that I need the pauses and I want the pauses too. Thank you Deirdre, not only for the honor of sharing your space with you, but also for making me pause. Because it was reading through all of these beautiful pauses here that made me realize that I haven’t been pausing enough.
How will you pause this week?
It is so true that everytime I read your feature here Deirdre, I am reminded of the need to pause for my kids.
Great post Natalie. I do get drawn into this blogging thing sometimes and need to remind myself that my kids are only that age once in their life – I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world.
What a sweet post. Sometimes it is so hard for me to find the right balance. I have a lot of work that I take home with me and I always feel guilty when I see my son just playing by himself that I should be the one playing with him. Thanks for the reminder!
That was beautiful, Natalie. Deirdre – I love Pause Life for a Moment! I’m new to it – such a great way for us to remember what’s important.
Thanks so much for allowing me to share a story here!
@Kiddothings – Yes, blogging is a huge time suck, a fun one, but it really takes a ton of time to do.
@Barbara – I think we all need the reminder every now and again…I’m glad I was able to share mine!
@Missy – I agree! This feature is an amazing way to help us all think about what is really important.
Oh Natalie, you KNOW I get this! I am so glad you are finding time to shut down and do these little things. And I find that the more I shut down and walk away from the computer, the less important the world inside that laptop seems.
And yay for sprinklers!
Agreed. I just announced last week that I was going to start taking weekends off. The kids matter so much more, and time just seems to be flying by.
I totally agree! I am starting to gain a better balance between blogging, tweeting, and just being. I do feel like I have to be on the computer constantly sometimes, or else I might miss out! But time with my son is FLYING. I can’t believe I have an over 8 month old now! I need to cherish this time with him for sure.
This spoke to me so much. I just started freelance writing and I have been obsessing about finishing stories and deadlines lately. I seem to have forgotten that the reason that I decided to do this was so I could be home with the children. Thank you for writing this, Natalie. And thank you for your nice comment over at Team Skelley, JDaniel4’s Mom!
I had no internet access for the last week besides my smartphone, and while it felt frustrating, it also felt good.
cleaning and the to-do’s won’t miss you for a day… but the kiddos sure will! thanks for the reminder!
Beautiful piece. Great excuse not to clean the bathroom today. Getting out the baby pool instead! Thank you!
Great story. I think this is something that we all struggle with. It’s a great reminder that my family needs me more than my computer screen does.
I absolutely love this Natalie. Truly.
Hat tip. 🙂
I am totally unplugging for 8 hours tomorrow with a couple of other bloggers, no phone, no iPad, no computer. I think I will feel like a drug addict going through withdrawals but I need it
@Sherri I know you know my friend! And yes, yay for sprinklers (I ran through them too!) 🙂
@Lisa It’s sad when you stop to think about how fast time really does fly, isn’t it?
@Melissa Step away from the computer!! If you miss out on anything, just remember you’ll hear about it as soon as you get back on 😉
@Katie Exactly…I forgot the reason why I wanted to stay home too. It’s hard to find the balance.
@Mrs.Wonder It’s a great feeling!
@Carissa You’re welcome! We all need that reminder it sounds like!
@Melissa Yes! Go get the baby pool out!
@Kim I like how you put that…and I need to remember it!
@Galit Thank you ::blushing::
@Emmy You SO will feel like you are missing an arm or something, but it will feel good too 😉
What a great post!! With being so new to the blogging world I have my eyes and ears open to any and all suggestions. The one consistant piece of advice is balance. I keep that in the back of my head all the time. When my boys ask me to play, I try my best to drop everything and play with them, no matter what it is. Well, unless its the baby of course, I wouldn’t drop him! :o)
@Hopes@StayingAfloat! Ha! Love your comment and glad you wouldn’t drop the baby 😉
Don’t get too sucked in to Facebook and Twitter and Google+ and all of that fun stuff. I think when you are just starting out, the important thing to focus on is your content. That’s just my two cents 😉
I feel the same! I don’t want to look back and have regrets! I also don’t want my kids to look back and ever think that I had any priority that was more important than them.
I’m actually working on this myself. My family comes first and someday they’re going to get on the computer and ignore me…and then I’ll cry.
We take regular time for ourselves at a local park and playgroups. It is nice to get out of the house where there is no computer and enjoy the rest of the summer.
@GrumpyGratefulMom No regrets 🙂
@Mothers’Hideaway Yep,that’s my fear too!
@Audrey’sMom I am trying to take your stance on things!
I’m gonna have to hide from my husband to pause. He is making me work wayyy too hard now our Grandlittles are in school.
It’s good to unplug. Hooray for you! I was so caught up in the computer when I started blogging, but now I’m stepping back too. I need to do other things and sometimes I get too crowded by the noise. Getting out the house helps a lot. I need to start setting a timer too.
@Jenny my husband FINALLY understands that I really am working 😉
@Rach Easier said than done, right? But once you do it, it really does get easier and make a huge difference in your life…
Luckily, there wasn’t blogging when my boys were itty bitty like that – so I didn’t have that conflict. Now, as they growing into their own spaces (the 10 year old draws in his room, the 13 year old reads – and the 16 year old doesn’t need mom hovering), I am glad I have something to do in the emptiness they left. However, there are moments, too, when I need to just drop the key board and slowly back away. That’s this weekend. Checkers! Chess! Good fixin’s! Knitting! Talking! What a beautiful, nudging reminder of our priorities! Have a puse-filled holiday weekend!