Mid March through the end of April brings an interesting scenario to our lives. Each child’s Spring Break fell in different weeks. My husband’s still buried in Tax Season, so pulling one child out to go on a family Spring Break during the other child’s break won’t work. And to top it off, because of Tax Season, we’ve planned our family trip for late April, when neither child will be off. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. And a little put-out, frankly. While my husband was chugging away at his job in a time when he’s at his busiest (read: never home), I’m going to lose a ton of productivity not one week, but two! And then after that, comes our family vacation. Another week lost.
Until I realized that I’d been given a gift. A gift of private, quality time with each child, individually, for an entire week. A week where we could either go where the wind blew us or carefully plan what THAT child wanted to do without any input (read: vocal objections) from her sister.
And a gift it’s turning out to be. In ways I didn’t really expect.
For example, both of my children picked the zoo as a special place to go on their week off. One child wanted to stay for less than one hour when we went. She just wasn’t feeling it that day. At all. And guess what? If her sister had been along, we would have never been able to leave within the hour. Because her sister? We will be there 5 hours, easily. And I’ll STILL have to cut short some of the things she wants to do.
And the movie The Lorax. We saw it as a family. Then my youngest wanted to see it again as her “movie day.” We had a great time together, just she and I. No jockeying over who’s sitting where, who had their arm on the seat, who gets what snack. And guess what? This week when my oldest is off? She wants to see The Lorax again too!
I’m tempted to say, “Good Heavens, this is ridiculous. I’m doing the same things with each child on their week off that I could be doing with both of them to save time!”
I could easily say that because it would be true.
But instead, I’m treasuring each moment, replay that it is for me, with each child. Alone. Because I don’t often get private time with just one of them. And I get to appreciate each girl in a way that SHE needs to be appreciated, not in a way that’s balancing between their two needs simultaneously.
And when we (finally!) take our family trip at the end of April, both of their emotional tanks will be full because I’ll have been able to spend not just a moment, but an entire week pausing with them. Drinking them in. Loving them for their unique qualities.
And that gift may not come again next year. So this year I’m appreciating every minute of it.
Barbara says
Beautiful post. I am now starting to realize how special one on one time is not just for the kids but for me as well.
Missy | Literal Mom says
It truly is a gift, Barbara. And as they get older, it becomes even more important.
JDaniel4's Mom says
Barbara is right! It is a really beautiful post.
Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says
What a great way of looking at it! My husband is an accountant too. Our spring break is next week (and all 3 of my boys are off school at the same time) and I think we’re just going to take a little vacation while my husband holds down the fort at home (and work!).
Missy | Literal Mom says
We’ve done that before too. Last year, Easter was so late he got to go with us for the first time. And we realized how much HE needed the break too. Have a good time on your mini-trip!
JDaniel4's Mom says
I bet the guys will love going on a trip!
Marie says
As usual, I love your perspective and positive thinking.
You’ll have all the lines to The Lorax memorized. 🙂
Missy | Literal Mom says
I will! Either that, or I’ll take a little nap during it. 😉
JDaniel4's Mom says
Either way it sounds like fun!
Alison@Mama Wants This says
It is a gift to be able to have one on one time with the kids, regardless of what activity you do with them. It’s fab that you recognize that and treasure it.
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thanks, Alison. I agree!
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thank you so much for the honor of hosting me here today! I so appreciate being able to Pause life for a moment with you!
Natalie says
That is so nice that you get to spend quality time with each one of them…and funny that they still pick the same activities. However a different experience is being had with each of them.
Missy | Literal Mom says
It is a very different experience with each. And may not have been *quite* as much fun with them together!
JDaniel4's Mom says
How wonderful to get to see things through both of their eyes!
jesterqueen says
I think that it’s delightful that they enjoy you and want to do those fun parent child things with you. Truthfully, though? I’d have been pissed OFF with the schools that couldn’t get it together. You were lucky enough to be able to take the time with each kid. A lot of families had to make hard decisions about childcare, age-at-which-you’re-maybe-OK-home-alone, and time off work.
Missy | Literal Mom says
I feel very fortunate that I get to stay home with them Jessie. It would have been hugely stressful otherwise. And it’s hard to get mad at the schools, since I choose to have them in different ones. 🙂
JDaniel4's Mom says
I am so glad you got to be home too.
MamaMash says
One of my fears in having a second child is being able to ensure that they both feel they’ve had adequate attention from their parents. You are so right in realizing what a gift this situation gave to you!
Missy | Literal Mom says
Most of the time it’s ok that they have to “share” mom, but sometimes they each need the time with me only. And that’s the case with all children, I think.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I think it gives them time to build individual memories.
Emily says
It’s nice when life hands us little gifts like that. And it’s even better when we can recognize them. Thanks for your post!
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thank you! You are so right, sometimes we don’t recognize it. And believe me, I’ve had a couple of moments this week feeling RUSHED to get things done before my second one’s break starts tomorrow. But it’s all good and we’re going to have a good time together.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I totally agree. Time is a precious gift we can give our children.
Galit Breen says
Oh this made me teary, Missy!
Because it’s so try true!
That one on one time is so rare and I so often -too often- find myself clumping activites/kids for the sake of being efficient.
Fab reminder, you two!
Thank you!
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thanks, Galit! I’m all about efficient – most of the time!
🙂
merelymothers says
I often wonder how I’ll make special time with both children once we have a second. Thanks for the practical inspiration! It CAN work!! Your children must think you’re the best mom ever 🙂
Missy | Literal Mom says
Ha! Sometimes they do. Sometimes I’m the WORST! Like when I make them do their after school work and chores. Goes with the territory I suppose!
JDaniel4's Mom says
We have those best and worst mom moments at my house too.
christine says
Oh how wonderful. What a great way of appreciating the Spring Breaks with each child. I hope give each girl a little more one-on-one time more regularly.
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thank you! I hope I can keep it up through the summer. That’s when it can get kind of hard.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I hope you will be given that special time too.
Elaine A. says
What a great way to look at it. One on one time with your kids is SO special and I know we don’t get enough of it around here. I took my oldest to Target over the weekend so spend his birthday gift cards and we had a the best time there even, just the two of us. 🙂
Missy | Literal Mom says
I know! It doesn’t have to be something major! Even something as simple as shopping. And grocery shopping with just one? Bliss . . .
JDaniel4's Mom says
It truly is just time with you and not big plans that I think they love.
Missy | Literal Mom says
Love this, Kate! Life does give us lemonade very often and we have trouble seeing it. I’m glad you were able to see your lemonade today!
JanMary @ www.janmary.com says
Love this way of embracing what could be a pain into an opportunity to spend time with each child.
Need to remember this myself!
Missy | Literal Mom says
Thank you! I had a great time with my first one’s spring break and will have a great time with my second one too. Starting tomorrow.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I love that they get special time with you.
Kimberly says
One on one time is so rare but so important. I need to do this more often.
Missy | Literal Mom says
It is rare. But everyone feels great after, don’t they?
JDaniel4's Mom says
JDaniel loves his one on one time with each of us.
Sela Toki says
You truly have been gifted with that one on one time with your children. In my case, with 7 children, it’s pretty hard for one on one time to come by. That’s why I make sure there’s a lot more hugs and kisses going on in our home every day. Thanks for sharing that beautiful post.
Missy | Literal Mom says
My brother has 7 kids. I’m sure he’d agree with you, Sela!
JDaniel4's Mom says
It really sounds like Sela has found a wonderful way to let her seven know that they are special.
Jessica Heights says
That sounds like such a precious opportunity!! 🙂
JDaniel4's Mom says
I totally agree.
Missy | Literal Mom says
My Oldest, which starts tomorrow, is pretty pumped! My youngest had a great time on hers.
Jennifer - Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool says
I took one-on-one time for granted so much when there was only one. Now that there are two, I treasure each of those moments. I’m jealous you got a whole week with each!
JDaniel4's Mom says
This really was a wonderful opportunity.
Missy | Literal Mom says
Jennifer – I agree! I had no idea how important it would be when I had one.
RoryBore says
definitely the hardest thing I struggle with and worry about the most — how to give individual time to my 3. with a shift worker husband. The youngest gets the most because she is not in school, but she also still requires the most supervision. I can play Barbies with my middle daughter, but I suck at Wii games which is what my eldest boy wants to do. I gotta get better though: the way the all clamour and fight over me, their emotional tanks must be on empty for sure.
JDaniel4's Mom says
This has to be so tough.
Missy | Literal Mom says
I agree. It has to be hard. I’m sure your oldest wouldn’t care that you suck!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich says
I love that you see a positive out of a challenging time. I have to thank you because I have been a little cranky about the different spring breaks this year. My oldest is in college and already had hers. The youngest is out next week but like your hubby, vacay is not in the cards. Thanks again for the insight Missy! 🙂
JDaniel4's Mom says
I love that Kate was able to pause life and enjoy the moment!
Adrienne says
What a treat! I really need to spend some one-on-one with each of my boys. It’s been too long. I can’t even remember, honestly.
How funny they both wanted to do the same thing!
Congrats on your feature day!!
JDaniel4's Mom says
I hope you get some special time with each soon.
Queenie Jeannie says
What an awesome, positive outlook you have on this situation!!! Great job! I always loved spending one-on-one time with each of my three kids too. And it’s not that easy to manage, is it? Hugs and keep enjoying the journey!
JDaniel4's Mom says
I love her outlook too.
Anne says
I’ve often wished life had a “pause” button so I could relish those moments with love ones and friends. But since that’s just not possible, it’s good to be reminded to have that “sacred” time with family.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I think this wonderful reminder!
Abby says
What a great perspective, and what a great blessing to have the opportunity to spend so much precious time with each child. I’m sure they will each have treasured memories of the time.
JDaniel4's Mom says
This truly was a blessing!
Kir says
Missy, this is a perfect perspective and a lesson that we need to learn as moms. Having twins is hard for me since I have to stretch myself beyond mere mortals for all their needs at the SAME TIME, instead of having them come in at different moments.
Reading this gave me some insight into what it’s like to take each child and spend time with them seperately, something I never do. I am giving some serious thought to doing that, to getting to know them in their own space and time now.
thank you, what beautiful words.
JDaniel4's Mom says
She truly writes thoughts you yearn to put into action.
Erika says
When my daughter was one, her brother was born and at times I felt guilty that he did not have time alone with me. Now that she is in school I get that time with him and what a gift! Even when he is getting into paint and making a mess:)
Erika
JDaniel4's Mom says
I am so glad you are getting special time with him.
Mercy D'souza says
One on one time is something kids crave. I wish I had a way to make it happen for each of mine more often. They always fight over who sits next to me or on my lap, and the baby always cries when I hold or cuddle one of the other two. I need extra arms. 🙂