JDaniel has decided at age four he know what he needs to do, when he needs to do it, and if your choices for him are going to make him happy.

He wants the freedom to make choices his life and so he is given some.

JDaniel needs to learn about making good choices, about consequences to making bad choices, and how to make them when mom isn’t around to bounce the choices off of. Giving him a little more freedom has given him the chance to learn.

His day starts with choices. He gets to decide what he would like for breakfast as long as it isn’t popsicles and sweet tea. Then he gets to decide if he want to watch a show and which show he wants to watch. When that is show is over, he gets to help decide his clothes and whether he will wear his red boots or sneakers.

Some of these early morning freedoms of choice are open ended and others have limitations. He sometimes fights these limits. He knows of better choices like watching a whole morning of television and wearing pajamas outside the house.

There needs to be some freedom to given to him to test out whether his choices are good and valid ones to make. Reading a book about microorganisms before heading to the grocery store turns out to be a great choice while spreading every toy out on the floor and suggesting that they be cleaned up later much later proves to be a bad one. It turns out later means wanting to wait until tomorrow and mom won’t let you watch a video on robots with dad until your room is clean.

As the day continues there are more opportunities for choices and learning about making them away from mom. JDaniel has always fought going to the playroom or the gym at the Y. He wants to be by me at all times when he is around people he doesn‘t know. I have been pushing him to play in the gym. There is a track right above it he can see me walking or jogging on. He still fights it. He will go in and sit along the wall and watch me for thirty minutes before he will make the choice to play. I have to fight the desire to help him make the choice to make new friends and play. I walk around the track praying they next time I am in his view he will be up and playing. It will take time. For the past three times we have gone he has repeated the same choice even though he has the freedom to make a change to it.

Lately he has had more friends coming over to play and they have been given the freedom to play in his room with my checking in on them. Some friends have made choices that JDaniel knew weren’t okay and he has sought me out to tell me about them. There have been other choices that were not good that I have found out about later and he has denied they happened. He has had to learn that freedom to make choices especially bad ones come with consequences. He has also learned that the truth may not set you completely free, but it does go over better with your parents.

JDaniel will have years of making choices and searching for more and more freedom in his life. I am so hoping that the foundation he is building now will help him make good choices in the future.

This post is linked to Alphabe Thursday!

Recently we have been talking about letting God heal old scars in our lives in the mom’s group I’m in at church. We have discussed how most people don ‘t even notice that you have any scars or that many have gone below the surface of your skin.

This  discussion reminded me of  the scar JDaniel has on  his forehead.

Last Halloween JDaniel tripped and fell into a coffee table at a friends house during a playgroup Halloween party. We had to rush to the hospital so he could get internal and external stitches. (I wrote about it on a guest post I wrote for Mom of a Monster and Twins.)

When we got home, he looked like Frankenstein for a few days. The external stitches stood out on his head.

Over time the external stitches dissolved and wore away. There was still a scar there and we don’t know if it will ever really go away.

Internally we can’t see the stitches or the scarring . We can feel the scar tissue that formed above them. It is like a ridge right below the surface.

We are supposed to massage it and try to break down the scar tissue two times a day for fifteen minutes each time. JDaniel hates it when I massage it . He does a better of tolerating it when my  husband does it.

I am so glad he lets someone massage the scar tissue. We really don’t want him to keep it.  Although it may be that no one  never  notices the scar tissue, we will know that it is there and that we  at least tried to make it go away.

Mental, spiritual,  and emotional scar tissue behaves in the much the same way that JDaniel’s physical scar tissue has. It forms calluses that can create very real scaring on our heart and minds.

I carried into adulthood calluses caused by the scars of my parents divorce and several other things from childhood.

I am going to be honest with you I am just like JDaniel is when I am trying to massage his scar tissue. I tried to avoid it, limit the time I allow for it to be broken down,  and fussed at God for making me finally deal with.

Being challenged to hand over something old that you have been come used to is hard but, I am so glad that much of the scar tissue has been broken down and the areas under those old calluses has been allowed to heal.

Do you have calluses you need to have massaged by God? Are you ready to hand them over to him?

This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday.

JDaniel is totally into pretend play. It is fun to see what he comes up with on his own. Many of the activities are based on things he sees me do.

A few weeks ago when I was tagging and organizing clothes for a consignment sale. He set up a consignment sale of his own. It was so cute to see all the toys lined up in rows waiting for the shoppers.

We go to the grocery store a lot so, playing store is very popular. Jdaniel loves to play grocery store with Bryce from next store. When I shop their store, I always go to the register when JDaniel is in charge. His prices are much cheaper than Bryce’s and he takes coupons. I don’t think Bryce’s mom uses coupons. He won’t take them. He only wants cash or a credit card. JSaniel will also push products that I don’t select by telling me they are on sale.

A hospital is frequently set up in the living room. Neither JDaniel nor Bryce is a great doctor. They mostly leave you waiting and waiting for an appointment to start. Once you are called in they are both distracted and forget you are on the exam table (couch). It actually great to be the patient. I get to read magazines and take a rest on the couch.

My favorite of JDaniel’s pretend creations is his blog. We have given him an old keyboard and from time to time I have walked into his room to find him clicking away on it. When I first asked him what he was doing, he told me he was blogging. His blog even has a name. The blog is called Mama Smith. I guess if my blog is named after him his blog can be named after me. He won’t tell me what his posts are about. Maybe I should be thankful it is just pretend. He has been unhappy with me about a few things lately. I am not ready for all that angst to be spread to the blogosphere.