growing & learning with him
By Deirdre
By Deirdre
-Talk with your children about your own feelings.
-Have your child imagine not only how it “feels” to be safe, but what it looks like, what sounds she hears, what smells she detects. Evoking as many senses as possible will make the experience seem real.
-Resolving all of the feelings related to the disaster may take your child (and you) quite a while. It is normal for a child to bring up the crisis long after it has happened and when you least expect it.
Charlotte Reznick PhD is a child educational psychologist, an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA, and author of the LA Times bestselling book The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Succes.s
Disclaimer: These tips were sent to me and I thought they would be useful. I was not compensated in any way to post them and was have not read any of Dr. Reznick’s books.
By Deirdre
We went to visit with my in-laws recently. I was able to spend the large part of an afternoon talking with my mother in-law. She told me stories about raising her five children. Then she focused on the various girlfriends and boyfriends each had brought home to meet her and my father in-law. I have heard many of the stories before. This time she focused on my husband’s more than she had before. She said that each one seemed nice, but after a visit or two they never came back. “You were the one that keep coming back!” she said. It was wonderful to hear her retell the events that lead up to my getting to join her family.
I hope you will take time to listen to family stories from your aunts, uncles, mom, dad or grandparents this year.
By Deirdre
We had a little bit of a car ride back from visiting my in-laws yesterday and got home just past JDaniel’s bed time. He was wide awake. Rather than rush him off to bed and have him cry and cry, I decided to stick with his regular sleep routine.
What do I do?
1.We go upstairs and take a bath every other night.
2.I put on his sleeper suit and he selects a pacifier for the night.
3.We go into the bathroom and he brushes his teeth. Then I brush his teeth.
4.My husband, JDaniel and I watch Curious George during the week and Bob the Builder on weekends. (PBS airs different shows on weekends.)
5.We read two or three books as a family.
6.I carry him to bed and give him his blessing. (I say, “Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you, and God loves you. May God bless you with the sleep you need and someday welcome you into His Kingdom.”)
What are some sleep tips?
•Keeping a routine for JDaniel has been key to his getting good sleep.
•Giving him time to wind down after running around really seems to prepare him for rest. (We read books and watch Curious George to do that.)
•I have kept his bed clear of stuff .(toys, books, blankets) He does have extra pacifiers in his crib.
•I reassure him with his blessing as I put him into his crib that sleep is a good thing.
•I don’t rush in if he cries during the night. He sometimes wakes up for a minute or two and then goes back to sleep. If I rush in, he is up for hours.
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By Deirdre
Many of you probably go to consignment sales for clothes. I do that too. I have found the best deals on shoes and toys. JDaniel has little feet. He wears shoes that children who are just learning to walk are wearing and he is twenty- one months old this week. That means that the size 4 ½ or 5 that he needs have barely any wear expect for a few scuff marks on the toes. I was able to get him Timberland hiking boots for ten dollars and Nike sneakers for seven at a local consignment shop.
How about toys? I have done well in that department too. You have to shop around your local consignment store to know which one clean up the toys well and you have to test them out at the store. I have found great deals that would have cost so much more at the store. JDaniel got a toy laptop for seven dollars.
By Deirdre
Stay in touch with your child’s teachers in ways that show you appreciate what they are doing. If every parent took a moment to write a positive note to your child’s teacher, it would really make their week.
Most of the notes I received as a classroom teacher were to point out thing that they thought I needed to do better or ask about a grade or to thank me for something I had done.
Guess which ones I like to get. I loved notes from parents saying you helped my child learn something I thought he would always struggle with. I loved notes that said thank you for helping my child write a great story.
I once received a copy of the letter a mom of a former student sent to the superintendent of schools. The letter thanked the school system and in particular four teachers that had helped her son pursue his dreams. The letter was sent when her son graduated from graduate school. I was one of those teachers she mentioned. I taught him in second grade. She will never know how much that letter made my whole career.
By Deirdre
A comment was made on the video series by Linda Anderson we are listening to in my mentor mom’s group that has really stuck with me. The comment was if you want your son(s) to look for a whole woman as a wife you need to be that an example of a whole woman for him. He will need to know what one looks like. What does that look like? I think it means I take care of myself spiritually, physically (exercise, regular doctor’s visits, eating well), emotionally, and all other aspects of life.
I know that it is hard to make time to do the things I mentioned above. There are always things to do for your children, husband, house, yard, church etc… I don’t always do a good job of taking care of me. I am trying to be better at it. The Linda Anderson quote maybe the motivation that I need.
By Deirdre
Start traditions based around birthdays. There are lots of ways to do them. Here are some I found online:
Decorate Before Waking– Decorate the living room with balloons, confetti and banners in the living room the morning of their birthday.
Birthday Frame– I like this idea one mom posted on frames.Every year on her son’s birthday she makes a picture frame using the wrapping paper his gifts came in. She buys a 5×7 wood picture frame from a craft store and makes a collage using the pieces of the wrapping paper on the mat frame that comes inside the frame. When the frame is finished she puts in a photograph of her son from his birthday party. She hangs the picture on the wall and has a memory of each birthday.
Special Plate– It is fun to have a “special” plate (or a birthday crown) for the birthday person to use at meals, that is used only for birthdays. You can make a plate or buy a fun one at the store.
Letters to Remember– Write a special letter to your child each birthday. Keep them in a special place.
Birth Day Stories– The birthday child gets to stay up a little later after the other children have gone to bed and Mommy and Daddy tell him/her about the day they were born, and how their parents felt when that special child joined their family.
Birthday Growth Picture– Take a picture of the birthday child standing back to back with Daddy (or Mommy) and compare growth from year to year.
What birthday traditions do you have? Please leave comment below telling me about your birthday traditions.
By Deirdre
I was reminded of another computer related Mommyhood Tip today. JDaniel likes to hop from computer to computer and loves to have the headphones on. In my previous life as a technology resource teacher we cleaned the headphones in the computer lab often. I am not sure how often they get a chance to clean the headphones in the library. JDaniel is going to be getting a cheap pair of headphones from the dollar store to use at the library. With flu season here and lots of children with colds it will be a good investment.
By Deirdre
We discussed the internet and computer usage at the Mentor Moms group I attend at my church. One thing that kept coming up was the amount of time both parents and children spend on the computer. A suggestion was to set a kitchen timer for the amount of time you want to be on the computer and to stop working on the computer when it goes off. I know easier said than done.