Motherhood Reflections Archives - Page 3 of 5

{Mother’s Day Craft} -His Fingerprints Are Everywhere

May 8, 2012 By Deirdre

His fingerprints are everywhere. When you look at the television screen or computer monitor, you will find JDaniel’s fingerprints. They were all over the walls until they were painted last week. I try to keep up with them, but as soon as I wash them away they return.

I can track his fingerprints around the house. They leave tell tale signs of his travels during the day. His hands are out touching everything as he walks along the hall and climbs the stairs.

There are fingerprint smudges on inside the passenger side window in the back of the car. They have been left behind after pointing out something exciting he has seen that he needed to put his finger on while he was telling me about it.

Despite putting down newspaper before doing a craft there are fingerprints made of glue, paint or glitter are left when his project is done all over the kitchen table.

For some reason there are yogurt and other food smudges that appear on the kitchen table too. Could it be that he still tries to eat with his fingers?

I know that I can’t leave these fingerprints where they are. As I mentioned above they are quickly replaced with new ones as soon as I clean them. Without cleaning them up and wiping them away they would quickly cover every surface of our house. The walls would no longer be antique white. Table would have mountains of crafting materials and food developing in the places that JDaniel sits beside. The doors crusted with finger carried substances and the windows would become opaque.

There is a small part of me that realizes that down the line there will be no small fingerprints left behind. . He will reach a stage where is eats more neatly and crafts more carefully. (Maybe?) I hope he will still have things he want to point out from windows, but he may stop pointing his finger at them through the window.

JDaniel decorated the mat in the frame below with his fingerprints. The mat surrounds a wonderful poem about fingerprints. This Mother’s Day themed poem was a wonderful reminder to me to pause to enjoy the messy fingerprints I keep finding around the house while I can.

These four year old fingerprints are a reminder of the joy he finds in eating, creating, touching his environment and pointing out wonderful things he sees.

What does the poem say?

My dirty little fingerprint I’ve left on every wall

And on the drawers and tabletops, I’ve really marked them all

But here are some that won’t rub off, I’m giving them to you

Because I’m thankful to have a nana that just likes you!

What has been your favorite Mother’s Day gift to give or receive?

Examining His Learning Choices

May 2, 2012 By Deirdre

Yesterday Nicole of By Word of Mouth Musing shared how she made change in the way her children were learning and where they were learning. As a mom I think it is really hard to know sometimes what way or place is the right one for your children.

If you were taught in a certain way, you may lean toward that way for your children. If you really didn’t like that way of learning you may not.

I am not at the stage where I have to make the choice of what school to send JDaniel to for elementary school, but I have always assumed that he would go to our neighborhood public school. Both my husband and I went to public school. I taught in public schools for twenty years. It is still probably where he will be, but it doesn’t have to be.

There are lots of other options for him. He can go to a Christian school or generic private one. There is always the option of home schooling although I think home schooling moms have a special gift that I don’t think I have.

This year he has been attending a neighborhood preschool that meets in a church near our house. He has only gone two days a week. It was hard to him at first. He knew only one other child in his class. JDaniel clung to this child claiming he didn’t need to make any new friends if he had Jake. Finally just this spring he has opened up to making new friends and talking to his teachers. He hadn’t been interested in sharing with them either.

He has fabulously loving teachers that have encouraged him to meet other children in the class and open up and share. It just wasn’t something that interested him.

Yes, he is one of those children. If he is interested, he dives in with both feet and wants to know everything about what he is interested in. I know there are a lot of four years olds that are just like him. If he isn’t interested he doesn’t always want to learn it.

The teachers have provided him with a lot of opportunity to learn or refine his knowledge of colors, numbers, and letters. He knows most of them. He has known them for a couple of years. Colors like orange, gray, and pink don’t interest him or am guessing that is what is going on. Some of the numbers aren’t interesting to him so he skips them or maybe I just thought he knew them.

He is only four and he has lots of time to learn all of his numbers, letters, and colors.

This year I backed off working on teaching him a lot at home. We covered skills as they came up in our everyday life and concepts we found in stories. I knew his teachers were covering them at school too.

After hearing from them recently that he has some things to work on, I have decided to do some home schooling with him this summer.

He is not the type child that wants to play school with me even if gets to be the teacher so, we will be learning things as they tie to books that he likes and as things come up. I will pull out a few workbooks I have gathered and he will get explore concepts on the iPad. He loves getting to use the iPad.

As for next year JDaniel will be going back to the same preschool next year for three days a week and on the rest of the days we will be learning at home through fun and everyday life.

This post is linked to Alphabe Thursday and Pour Your Heart Out!

Opening My Heart to Motherhood

March 1, 2012 By Deirdre

Many women fear that they won’t have children or that they can’t. For a long time I feared that I would have children and that they would carry on family traits via my DNA.

In fact with marriage not in the picture due to the calluses on my heart I mentioned a few weeks ago for a long time. I had also decided that children even outside of marriage children won’t be an option either. Children I adopted won’t inherit the scary inherited problems I feared but, they could still appear in my life.

There are members of my family in previous generation that have had to deal with mental illness and chemical dependency. They struggled to fight against them and some worked hard to deal with them. It was so hard for me to watch as I was growing up.

As the over thinker in the family, I maybe the only one that even thought about the effect our heritage might have on the next generation.

As a Christian, I should have been able to let go and let God give me what he felt like I could handled but, for the longest time I couldn’t. I prayed that I could get past this barrier in my heart and mind. I prayed that my heart would long to have a family and that I would be up for the homework that God I would have to do to get past those barriers.

It took a long time to for me to I moved past the fears and see the hope I longed for. It took a wonderful prayer group and amazing Bible study to help support me in my desire to change. The ladies in both of these groups were like sisters to me and were my prayer warriors. My real life sisters along with my spiritual sisters helped me open up to the greatest gifts in my life.

Thankfully God willingly to massage my heart and mind set to see that he had something very special for me. Something that would give me hope instead of fill me with dread.

When I met my husband, I knew pretty quickly that he was the one that I wanted to build a family with. There had been amazing men in my life that I hadn’t been ready for. I am so glad that Jdaniel3 came into my life when I was finally open to having him be the one.

Amazingly there were no fears about having Jdaniel after years of fear! I feared instead that I won’t be given the opportunity to be one.

We were so excited when we found out we were being blessed with him.

My husband and my son have changed my life. I don’t know what the future holds in any of our lives. My family DNA could still effect my family, but I know we can work through them.

My husband pointed out from the beginning of our marriage that we would work through any problem that came up as a team. Those words meant so much to my still healing heart. They will be cherished by me forever.

Why am I writing about all of this now?

This post has been haunting me for a few weeks. I have tried to figure out how to put these thoughts in to post for awhile.

I don’t really know why I needed to write it but, I know I did. I am so hoping that if there is anyone that is struggling with these issues or similar ones you will be happy to know that you are not alone and that you can make it past them. If this post helps just one person realize that, it will be so worth my writing it.

Pause Life for a Moment- Good Girl Gone Redneck!

February 28, 2012 By Deirdre

I was super fortunate to meet Andrea of Good Girl Gone Redneck at the Type A Conference last summer. She is amazing! Why? She is super friendly and warm. Andrea is the type of blogger that welcomes her blog readers to join her on her writing journey and shares openly who she is. When I met her at Type A, she was exactly that way in person. Those who read her blog and those who know her in real life are both truly blessed.

Hi, everyone! I’m Andrea – otherwise known as Good Girl Gone Redneck.

When JDaniel4’s Mom asked me if I would be interested in guest posting for her, I might have squealed a little bit! I am thrilled she invited me here to share her sacred space. And I’m so honored to be here for this week’s Pause Life for a Moment.

As a mother, there are so many moments I experience with my daughter. I honestly could never even begin to capture them all. I often write them up on my blog, but what I’ve recognized is that sometimes I focus too much on the intense moments. The stresses of motherhood. The days she drives me crazy.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter more than anything. But she is strong-willed (could be called stubborn), intense (highly emotional), and FIVE (have I mentioned she is five?). Many of the moments we share together are memories I capture and eventually rehash over and over again. But they’re not always the ones I want to hold onto. Or even plan to. They’re the ones where I ask myself, what could I have done differently? How could I have made it better? Easier? Less stressful? Could I have?

Why is it so hard to remind ourselves to take a breath and hold onto the good times? The moments when her eyes crinkle at the sides and remind me of my dad. When I wake her up in the mornings and her hair is all crazy and wild, and she immediately leans over and hugs me. Stretching out across her bed she practically takes me in her arms, grabs on, and won’t let go. Eyes sleepy – but bright. Her face was clear of any stress or emotion, just pure bliss. Flawless.

And instead of being frustrated when she doesn’t want to go to bed, why don’t I snap a mental picture of the way she lines up all her stuffed animals, covers them and her babies with blankets, and even gives them toy bottles? There’s almost nothing cuter, seriously.

Instead of pulling up memories of her shrieking or crying when she’s frustrated, why don’t I allow myself to truly hold onto the lyrics of her voice when she makes up a song? Or sings along with me? Or somehow sounds like a teeny opera singer – her voice projecting in song? Shouldn’t that be what I hold closest to my heart?

I think that pausing life for a moment is something we all need to do more. And yes – we’ll surely remember the not-so-fun days. The stressful times. The number of times we’ve had to say our child’s name before they actually DO what we ask of them. But isn’t motherhood about learning? Living? Loving? So our children teach us, and we learn to listen. We live incredibly full lives with and because of them. And we love them with all of our hearts.

Let’s hold onto that good stuff. Squish it really tightly and push it to the front of our brains. Make our memories flood with happiness and joy. And when we need to pause life for that moment or two – or ten – go ahead and do it. Because we’ll have a library of great things to look through when we need them. And I’m guessing that in about 8-10 years I’m really going to need them!

Nothing Could Be Finer Than An Afternoon in Carolina

February 22, 2012 By Deirdre

Last weekend was a mixture of wonderful sunshine and a bit of cold rain. While we wish the cold rain had been snow, we loved the days of sunshine that allowed us to be outside in light fleeces and long-sleeved shirts.

My husband and I sat and watched JDaniel try to catch pretend butterflies as well as swing around just enjoying the feeling of the soft breeze through the net. There is something magical about watching your child spin in sunbeams.

It was grand to sit on a sun-warmed driveway and watch your son find such joy. It is moments like this that make me reflect on how big he is getting and how he is aging right before your eyes. It is as if each spin moves him one step forward in time.

When the net is tucked away, it becomes time to aid JDaniel in the gathering of sticks for his beaver dam and find hiding places that will keep the big beaver (my husband) from depositing them in the woods. It had been a while since we had gathered sticks. There were many to pick up from under the great beach trees and carry to safety. Gathering sticks is something so simple and yet fills him with such a sense of accomplishment and the bushes with stacks of twigs. Thankfully the big beaver returns them to the woods often.

Following the branch collecting, we finally held our heart hunt. JDaniel and I had both been sick earlier in the week and the hunt had to be delayed. I don’t know who was more excited about finding chocolates in the hearts JDaniel or my husband. They both love chocolate.

What do you do to top an afternoon of stick gathering, butterfly catching, and heart hunting? You are left with sweeping the yard. Yes, our yard in the front has now been well swept as has the curb. There wasn’t much to sweep in the grass this time of year.

After having very little fly up from the ground when JDaniel was sweeping the grass, he decided he would fly himself. What fun it was to watch him zoom from the front yard to the backyard! It made me want to grab a broom from the garage and fly around the yard myself.

We have been blessed with many warm days this winter that I haven’t captured in pictures. I am so glad that I was able to capture this wonderful afternoon. It was definitely one to remember.

This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday and Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Greatest Love of All: JDaniel and Others Are Our Future

February 16, 2012 By Deirdre

“Greatest Love Of All”

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.

I love this part of the song the Greatest Love of All. It was sung by Whitney Houston and was written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed. I sang it at the closing ceremonies of a summer reading program with a group of teachers to be when I was learning to be a teacher in college. The message is carries of the need to believe, teach, show, and give to children is one I have carried in my heart since I first heard it.

When people look into the future they see hard economic times. Others see a damaged world due to global warning. The list of horrible things people predict could go on and on. Just reading through it would fill you with dread and sorrow.

When I look into the eyes of my son, I see hope. I see a boy that can change his world.

I don’t mean that I see someone who will become a president or world leader of any kind. I do mean that it is possible that this wonderful loving young boy can change his part of the world.

As his mom I truly feel the calling to help him learn to be a world changer from the inside out. Just as the song says, I need to try to show him the beauty he possesses inside and help him develop a sense of pride.

How do I plan to do that?

Try to help him cultivate a deep desire to care for others.

Help him discover the gifts that he has been blessed with and help him find ways to use them.

Provide him with a safe and secure place to share his thoughts and dreams

Look for opportunities for him to grow in the fruits of the spirit as they are listed in the Bible.

Show him by example what healthy self talk sounds like.

Display through my actions that world changing is not just a one time thing to do but, a life choice.

Share with him the pride I have in his actions and words.

Believe in his dreams and search out ways to make them happen.

Give him opportunities to lead and guide activities we are doing.

What are other ways I can do this?

This post is linked to Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.

Pause Life for a Moment- Early Morning Blogging Stress

February 7, 2012 By Deirdre

Sometimes things just don’t work out! Today instead of sharing a Pause Life for a Moment post I was supposed to be a part of a Valentine’s Day Hop with Kid Bloggers and hosting an Alouette Cheese giveaway tied to visiting the other blogs on the hop.

This morning I woke up and found that the post had gone up but, the script for you to link up wasn’t visible. I could see it in the Html but, but on the live post, there wasn’t anything.

I tried for almost an hour to figure out what was wrong and couldn’t. Tension started climbing up my back and into my head. I asked my husband to look at it and he couldn’t find anything wrong with it. Neither of us is even close to being experts in Html but, but we did what we could. Tension continued to tighten up my body.

Thankfully JDaniel slept through the whole event. If he had gotten up at this usual time, he would have wanted breakfast and to play with mom. I would have been more stressed out than I was and he could have the pleasure or displeasure of starting the day with a stressed-out mom.

So, I ended up pulling the post and reworking the giveaway to just being a traditional giveaway on my site all before JDaniel got up.

When he called to see if it was morning yet, the changes had been made and I was able to do our morning snuggle. The tension started to fade a little.

I was still carrying some of the tension about having to make the change and trying to think about what I could have done to fix it when I put together his breakfast. When the honey bear container dripped honey on the table instead of on JDaniel’s bagel, I felt the tension start to rise again.

Honey on the table isn’t something to be frustrated about in a house where a boy spills things on the table and the floor often. Breathe! I reminded myself that I just needed to breathe.

My husband gave me a kiss goodbye and gave me the look as he headed out the door to go to work. The look that reminds me that I need to pause to pray. The look that communicates that it is time to grab my Bible and hand my day over to God. The look that says that it is going to get better if I just let go of trying to control things I can’t change.

So after taking JDaniel to preschool I did all of those things that my heart told me my husband was communicating in his loving look.

Things look a whole lot better now.

Please if you get a chance stop by and see the wonderful creations the Kid Bloggers have made along with others who have linked up. Here is a link to Mama Peapod’s post on the Valentine’s Day Hop.

I am Unemployed?

January 18, 2012 By Deirdre

When I turned in my resignation letter shortly before JDaniel was born (I was a teacher and we had to turn in our resignation letter in the winter if we aren’t going to be there the next fall in the county I worked in.), I knew I was leaving one career to start another.

My new career was getting to be a staying at home mom. I totally viewed it as a career change because it was.

I traded in teaching others children to get to be home to guide and teach my son.

It has been a demanding job at times. Raising a strong-willed boy and helping he learn really has been the most challenging career I have ever had.

My life has been filled with building forts, spotting him on the playground as he climbs, introducing him to ways to find answers to his multitude of questions, potty training and more.

I have been a nurse caring for his terrible reactions to pollen.

I have been an advocate for healthy eating by introducing him to a variety of healthy foods.

I have been a limit setter. Teaching how to treat others and care for yourself.

I have been a life skill instructor. Teaching my son how to clean up after himself, get dressed, and take care of our house.

The list could go on and on but, I don’t think you need to read all about what I do as a mom. You do the same things and maybe even more.

What got me all fired up about this?

Two weeks ago I took JDaniel in for a check on how the gash on his head is healing with his plastic surgeon. When I checked in I was given a list of data to check to see if it was still accurate.

I skimmed down the list. Everything looked right.

Then I really read each item. Right under my name there was an area for the employer and just to the right of the colon after the word employer was the word unemployed.

I wanted to cross out the word and put stay at home mom beside it but, I didn’t.

I did ask the receptionist if she thought to stay at home moms were unemployed. She totally agreed that they weren’t but, she did say that the hospital system the doctor’s office belongs to doesn’t have code for that.

Well, I think they should! I really think that stay at home mom should be a recognized profession.

When my husband got home, I told him all about the form.

I asked him if I was unemployed.

He is a really smart guy. His answer was “No way!”

He didn’t just say that to make me happy or appease me. He has spent a full day trying to balance playing, house care, potty training, food providing, and everything else that happens during the day. He knows that it is a full-time job.

This post is linked to Alphabe Thursday and Things I Can’t Say!’s Pour Your Heart Out.

Read.Explore.Learn.- Don’t Worry Douglas Craft

January 6, 2012 By Deirdre

Welcome to Read.Explore.Learn.! This meme was designed to be a place for you to share the learning opportunities, crafts, field trips, and other activities you have done this week that tie into children’s books.

I look forward to seeing ways you have learned with and explored books.

Steps:

- Link your activity below.

- Please place the Read.Explore.Learn. badge on your post or create a link back to this meme.

- Please try to visit at least three of the other people who have placed links below and leave a comment. I will visit each of you and leave a kind comment.

- If you are not linking up an activity and are just visiting, please try to stop by a few of the links below.

My Book Tie-Ins of the Week:

This week we read the book Don’t Worry Douglas! is given a new knit hat by his dad and he is asked to be careful with it. Douglas barely makes it out of the house when his hat snags on a tree and is destroyed. His hat is unraveled and he doesn’t want to tell his dad. David Melling’s Douglas is a lot like a lot of children who are afraid to tell their parents when they have done things wrong.

Douglas tries to seek advice on how to fix his hat from his friends. Most of them would just like the yarn for their homes but, they do try and tell him to talk to his dad.

In the end, Douglas does talk to his dad and his dad does understand. He does remind Douglas to be careful with the replacement hat he gives him right off his head.

Of course, he reminded him of that with the first hat too.

I love the reminders in this book to listen and be willing to share when mistakes happen. JDaniel and I talked about both of these concepts after reading the book.

What did we do?

Craft a Bear and a Mom Lesson

This craft was more about me listening than JDaniel painting his Don’t Worry Douglas! bear.

I cut out a bear out of a brown paper grocery bag and set out brown paint with a sponge to paint it.

JDaniel told me that he didn’t want Douglas to be brown. He wanted him to be blue, green, and black.

I thought about forcing him to paint him brown so that I could have a brown bear for this post and decided that it wasn’t that important. What was important was to listen to what he wanted to do!

When he had finished painting, I said it was time to add eyes, a nose, and a mouth. JDaniel declared the project as done. I said that it would be fine with me.

When he left the room, I seriously thought about adding facial features to the bear. Then I thought about what I would be saying to him about listening. If I had added facial features I might have been telling him that it wasn’t okay and that I had to sneak in a face to have it be right. That is not a lesson I want him to learn.

Sometimes crafts may need to be finished the way I see them. This craft did not have to be that way.

If you like this bear craft, here are some more bear activities.

Printable Bear About Colors Activities

Color Bear Bingo Printables

Bear Shape Activity

Pause Life for a Moment- Mama Wants This

November 8, 2011 By Deirdre

Alison of Mama Wants This the amazing gift of looking for and sharing answers to motherhood questions we all want to know. She is the mom of a cute little boy and a will be a mom for the second time in the late Spring. I love to read the lessons she is learning and the joys she has in being a mom.

Opening my eyes, I was momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight. I blinked, trying to remember what day it was and where I was. I looked at the clock – 8 0’clock.

I stretched as I remembered, Sunday, it is Sunday. It was a strange sensation, feeling the warming sun on my legs. I haven’t woken up after the sun rose in nearly two years.

I got up slowly and padded to the bathroom.

As the hot water streamed down my back, pounding lightly on my tired shoulders, I felt myself relax for the first time in weeks.

I allowed myself a few extra minutes in the shower and looked at my growing belly for what seemed like the first time.

“Sorry, baby, Mama hasn’t paid you to mind for a few weeks, ” I whispered to my growing second child.

I finally drag myself out of the comforting lull of the hot water, dried myself and pulled on my clothes.

I walked through the quiet of our new home, unused to the lack of the toddler running around, counting 1 to 10, and hanging onto my legs.

I said a quiet thank you to my wonderful in-laws for braving their first overnighter with their grandson, granting me this unusual leisurely Sunday morning.

I turned on the coffee machine, letting it warm up in readiness for my husband’s must-start-day-with-coffee first cuppa.

I got myself a glass of juice and settled down in front of my laptop.

Without guilt, I checked my email, chatted on Twitter with friends I missed, busied myself on Facebook and did a little writing.

As I went about my online life, my husband finally got up and I hear the sizzle of the pan, as butter heats up.

“French toast?” I called out.

“The BEST French toast,” he replied.

We ate slowly. We talked. We wondered how the toddler and his grandparents were and resisted calling to check on them. We washed up.

I retreated back to the living room and curled up in my corner of the sofa.

I soaked in the moment – the only sound in the room, the quiet whirring of the ceiling fan.

I reflected back on the past month, when life was a whirlwind of activity, as we finally received the keys to our new house. Things had to be purchased, the house had to be painted, lights and fixtures had to be sorted, packing had to be done, cleaning of both houses had to happen – and life went mad.

Life with a toddler is hectic.

Life with a toddler, and being pregnant, even more hectic.

Life with a toddler, pregnant AND moving house, just insane.

And so, curled up on that sofa, I closed my eyes to savor a few more minutes of just doing nothing, but listen to my breath and give in to my thoughts.

I opened my eyes, pushed myself off my little comfortable spot and went out the door to pick my son up.

And life resumed.

Sometimes in the whirlwind of life pausing for a moment can help you be ready to take on the flurry of commitments, activities and special people in our lives. Alison beautifully illustrates that in this post.

Please stop by Mama Wants This and let Alison know how much you enjoyed her post.