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Something tells me it’s not going to be easy, anyway.
growing & learning with him
By Deirdre
Something tells me it’s not going to be easy, anyway.
By Deirdre
Dear JDaniel-
You love that you stoop down and gather dandelions for me. I love watching you trot over to deposit them in my waiting hand. The fact that you bring them to me like cherished gifts makes them all the more special.
I have to remember to tuck them carefully behind my ear or wrap them around a belt loop of my jeans so that I won’t lose them. They can fall so easily to the ground. I want you to know that I value the gifts you have bestowed on me.
You have spoiled me. We have been able to have so much time together just the two of us so much while I have been home with you. We spend many days stuck like glue sharing memories and building dreams.
I fear that just like the seeds of these precious golden flowers you will someday be blown in millions of different directions. I am not ready for you to get old enough to take flight begin to look for new places to take root and grow.
I cling to the fact you are only three and that we have years to be together collecting flowers and sharing time to console myself. Time seems to be spending up though. You are quickly leaving toddlerhood behind. Each day there are more “big boy” things you are doing. You are so much more independent in your thoughts and deeds.
Instead of focusing on the days to come what I need to do is cherish each dandelion you give me and display it proudly knowing that it was given out of love.
Love Always,
Mama
What part of your life seems to be flying by?
By Deirdre
Beyond reading her blog, I look forward to her e-mails. She writes me several times a week about comments I have left on her blog or she has left on mine. I would honestly have to say she is one of my closest blogging friends.
The post she wrote is open and very honest about a struggle in her life. I hope you will not only read her words appreciating that fact, but will leave her a comment on her blog letting her know how her words have affected you.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could pause that recorder anywhere we want in life? Maybe even fast forward through a bad relationship or rewind a favorite moment in life like a wedding or a birth? My pause button was activated a few years ago and I wish with all my being I could have turned that pause off.
Through sobs and tears, I heard the doctor say “You are suffering from Depression and Anxiety.” Talk about my pause button being pushed! I didn’t quite understand why the doctor was saying this because I had come in to see her about not being able to bounce back from the flu. I walked into the doctor’s office that afternoon totally unaware that I was suffering from anything other than flu. I knew I couldn’t eat, was extremely emotional (cried almost every morning) lost my interest in shopping, didn’t want to leave home and so much more.
She sent me in for an ultrasound and a few blood tests but said I had all the signs of depression.
Depression was not on my play list. I had so much going for me at the time…a wonderful family, was the class coordinator for my daughter’s class, active in Bible Study, so to have my pause button suddenly pushed, I had a hard time with it. Looking back it was a pause that I guess I needed. I have always put others first in my life, trying to make everyone comfortable and happy. I forgot about myself, I forgot to put myself first…I am the one I needed to take care of. As women we are born nurturers, why do we forget to nurture ourselves? I have come a long way in the last two years. The depression is not gone but it is not prominent in my life. I am now able to manage it without medication because I know the signs. Every once in awhile the anxiety will creep back in to my daily life, it reminds me that I am still in the process of learning on how to not let “everything” get to me. Letting everything get to me is my trigger.
I have learned that I need to push my pause button frequently…to take the time for me! I now make sure I get out of the house, have lunch with the girls, nights out with my best friend, date night…the list goes on! Learn from my pause in life and take the time for YOU!!
By Deirdre
I am so excited and I just can’t hide it! Today I am the featured blogger on The Secret to Success is Supprt. I have been visiting their site everyday for over a year to see what sites they are featuring and to meet new friends. It is truly amazing place. They host a weekly comment hour on Wednesday nights, Bloggy Boot Camps, and so much more.
For those of you that have never stopped by before let me tell you a little about me and my blog.
I grew up in Northern Virginia and continued to live there until 2006 when I married the love of my life. He loved living in South Carolina so, following a wonderful honeymoon at the Grove Park Inn I moved to South Carolina.
Prior to getting married, I taught second and third as well as being technology resource teacher. Throughout my teaching career computers and technology were a part of my job. I guess it isn’t surprising that technology is still a big part of my life.
My favorite role in life is wife to JDaniel3 and mom to JDaniel4. I look forward to exploring each day with them. They make me laugh, cry and inspire me to grow.
When JDaniel finally started sleeping through the night and taking good naps, I decided to start something that would be an outlet for my motherhood reflections, explorations of life, and learning moments. I had taken a class on blogging several years before and really enjoyed it. So, I decided to make blogging my creative outlet.
The blog’s tagline describes what the blog has become over time. It is a place where I share how we are growing by learning, laughing, listening and living.
Here are some of my favorite posts that related to each area of growth:
Learning
Trimmings from a Tree Become a Beaver Home shares JDaniel’s love of the outdoors and of building.
JDaniel has learned that he has to be a caterpillar before he can become a butterfly
with his own apartment.
Laughing
I Did Not Kill A Leprechaun even though JDaniel will tell you that I did!
Listening
I have learned I do not enjoy singing in the middle of the night.
No Thank You Could Lead to a Coup Attempt! It still means “No”.
Living
Until There Was You shares how I learned to be an aunt long before becoming a mom.
Hungry Ants Come Marching In explains why we get such happy ants at our house.
There are two weekly features on JDaniel’s Mom.
One is called Pause Life for a Moment and it features a wonderfully talented guest blogger sharing their take on the phrase Pause Life for a Moment. It appears every Tuesday.
The second is called Read.ExploreLearn. It is a meme that challenges bloggers to come up with ways to extend what their children are learning from concepts covered in a book. I truly believe that books can open doors of opportunity for children to learn about people, places, and things that may not encounter in their everyday worlds.
By Deirdre
When I graduated from college, I was surrounded by my favorite people in the whole world.
My Mom
Mom raised my sisters and me as a single parent. She balanced teaching school and taking care of us. It was a lot to manage. I know some days it was a struggle to keep all the balls in the air. Some days she could have used four or five extra hands to get all the balls from falling.
My Dad
Dad came on Sundays to take us to museums or to visit his mom (my Gigi) or to go on hikes. He loved books, art, the theater and exploring the great outdoors. He shared his joy of them with us and much of it rubbed off. A passion for modern art only rubbed off on my youngest sister.
My Sisters
Kate and Michelle have always been my closest friends and encouragers. We shared a room for many years when we lived in an apartment following my parent’s divorce. By the time we were in high school and we knew just want to do to get the others attention and on each other’s nerves. Going off to college had been a good time for us to grow up and grow back to each other.
My Maternal Grandmother
Gigi generously paid for two years of my college education. I probably would have had to get loans if she hadn’t provided the much need funds.
She was a serious and proper lady. When I visited her, she expected me to act like a proper lady. She never understood why my mom let me wear sneakers and play in the mud. In her world girls sat on couches and read books wearing dresses.
My Adopted Grandparents
The church I attended in college has a program called Adopt-A –Student that assigned students to older members of the church. I was blessed to be matched up with the Greene’s.
Mr. Greene had to watch his sugar levels but, Mrs. Greene would always make dessert if I was going over for Sunday dinner. I went to their house often for dinner.
They had dated as young adults, but didn’t end up getting married until much later. They taught me so much about what a joyful marriage should be. Mrs. Greene advised me to wait until I was ready to get married. I bet she would have never guessed it would take me so long to be read.
Under the hot sun of Virginia in May I crossed in front of them on a raised stage set up in front of one of the dorms.
I was so happy to have them all there to witness this wonderful event. I was so blessed to have each of them in my life.
By Deirdre
JDaniel slept very little at night. He seemed to want to nurse all night and sleep all day. So, I was up almost all night and tried to sleep when he sleep during the day.
Diapers were quickly filled and changed due to all the nursing.
He loved to be sung too. I sang him every church hymn, show tune, and children’s song I could think off.
He had gas a lot so; I patted his back for hours.
I was making tons of mistakes as a first time mom. During spare moments I read articles online with my husband at my side to try to weed through the good and bad advice.
Mother’s Day
My mom lived in the same town we did and I knew we were going to need to celebrate her motherhood along with my own. I made arrangements to go a Chinese restaurant, because she wanted Chinese food. I asked her about the best time to take her and she mentioned lunch time would be great.
It turned out to be a bad time for JDaniel. He wanted to be held the whole time we were at the restaurant by only his mama. He won’t let my husband or my mom hold him at all. After that was established as the way it was going to be, they went for multiple visits to the buffet and relished the great selection of foods they were eating.
What was I doing? Well, I sat in a vinyl booth holding the strong willed yet lovable baby that had allowed me to become a mama waiting for my husband to return with my lunch. Then I tried to eat while my son stared up at me with his bright blue eyes plotting when to cry next. The thought that was flying through my head was why wasn’t enjoying Mother’s Day as much as my husband and mom seemed to be.
During the car ride home, I felt frustrated and slightly bent of shape. Mother’s Day didn’t seemed be about me. In fact it seemed to be about every mom except me.
Far From the Perfect Gift
I did get a Mother’s Day gift from my husband and JDaniel that was supposed to show me that I was special. Instead of making me feel cherished it added to my frustration. My wonderful husband decided I needed an electric toothbrush for Mother’s Day. It would save me time and effort. He loved his and decided I would love one too.
It was a wonderful thought. It just didn’t go over well.
Gaining Perspective and Questions
By the end of the day I was sending frantic prayers to God. I desperately wanted to enjoy the final moments of Mother’s Day and not dwell on my perceived disappointments.
In the quiet hours before midnight holding JDaniel in my arms and trying get him to go to sleep I received an answer. It came in a series of questions to ask myself.
What did I expect from Mother’s Day?
Had a shared my expectations with my husband?
Beyond taking my mom to lunch had I shown her that she was cherished?
Did my husband have a gift ideas shared with him so that he would have an idea of what I would like?
Had I shown appreciation for the gift he had selected?
Didn’t having a perfect yet ornery baby in my forties make everyday Mother’s Day?
I went to sleep that night pondering these questions along with praying for JDaniel to sleep.
Second Year Better Than the First
The following Mother’s Day I did a much better job of communicating with my husband about Mother’s Day. Somehow knowing that I had shared what I wanted and hoped for made it a much better day.
How do you handle Mother’s Day at your house?
By Deirdre
I have been reading the Southern Institute for Domestic Arts and Crafts for over a year. I have learned so much about home life from Jenny. She has a unique talent for choosing beautiful fabrics to create clothing, a wonderful taste for food creations, a joy for motherhood, a love of Christ and so much more.
After reading her Pause Life for a Moment post, please stop by and visit her wonderful blog.
photo credit |
There are times in life when you are forced to pause from the everyday busyness that you are accustomed to. When I think of times in my life when there were peaceful pauses, I think of the first few weeks after each of my children were born. There’s that time after you’ve returned home from the hospital, when your body is recovering and you are adjusting to life with a new little person, when life seems a bit suspended. My favorite times were the middle of the night feedings. It wasn’t that I loved being up in the middle of the night, it was that I loved being up in the middle of the night with a newborn. It was just us, the world outside quiet with sleep, the sound of the clock ticking, the gentle snores of other members of the family who are fast asleep. These were precious moments, times of bonding that I will always cherish. At those moments it feels like nothing else matters but making that newest blessing know that they are loved and cared for. Just a mother feeding her child, like mothers have done since the beginning of time.
By Deirdre
By Deirdre
By Deirdre