Deirdre, Author at JDaniel4s Mom

Deirdre Smith writes/owns JDaniel4’s Mom. After twenty years as a elementary school and technology resource teacher in Northern Virginia, she became a stay at home mom in upstate South Carolina. Her blog features ways she and her 5 year old are exploring learning, crafting, creating healthy meals and living life to its fullest. Deirdre can also be found on twitter as @jdaniel4smom and on her blog's FB page. You can also check her out on Google+.

Faithful Shield Gets Frequent Dents

May 25, 2011 By Deirdre

The shield of faith is described in the Bible as a part of the armor of God. It covered you from head to toe and protected you from attack. I always pictured the armor as a beautiful metal plate with intricate designs maybe studded with bronze. It was perfect in its construction and immaculate in it appearance.

My pastor recently gave a sermon on the shield of faith and described it as being filled with the dents of life. The dents and dinks had occurred during events in our everyday life when our faith was tested or we had not had trusted with faith in God.

As I sat there in the pew, I began to think about what had caused the dents in my shield. The times I tried to live my life on my terms and had ignored red flags placed to warn me of wrong decisions being made.

Being a mom has added dents to the shield multiple times in the last three years. I rush through the day sending up pleas and pleading prayers when things got challenging with my strong willed son instead of leaning on God’s promises or even taking time to listen to the answers to them.

During three year old tantrums, I feel my stomach knot up and I try to remain calm. The outward appearance of calm isn’t usually carried inside to the tense feeling I get when I want to handle them with grace and words that I don’t what to come back to haunt me.

I am going to be making a considerable effort to take the time to work on my faith in the coming weeks. Raising a three year old is hard. There are many more dents that will be appearing in my shield in the future. I do hope that I can hold fast to want I believe. A three year old or life in general can wear you down and lead you make decisions that you wish you hadn’t in moment of frustration or doubt.

When I look back at each of the dents in my shield, I don’t want to cling to the frustrations or failures that they might represent. I do want to look at them and see how God looked out for me and carried me through them.

This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday

What is parenthood teaching you?

Pause Life for a Moment- Spilled: Because My Cup Overflows

May 24, 2011 By Deirdre

Sometimes you read a blog and feel you know its writer. Spilled: Because My Cup Overflows is one of those bloggers for me. After reading about her boys and the joy and challenges they bring I feel I know her. Her writing flows. Her pictures draw you in to take a peek into her family life. You are so going to love the guest post she wrote. I have walked in her shoes and want to choose to wear them in a new way just as she has.

I never thought of myself as an angry person.

According to all the stories my parents–and others who knew me in those days–tell me of my growing-up years, I was a calm, easy-going, eager-to-please child who never threw temper tantrums and who got along well with siblings and friends. When I lived in San Diego as a young married woman and had to learn to drive on busy, multi-lane highways (so different from the country roads surrounding my parents’ home, where the biggest traffic challenge was passing the horses and buggies of Old Order Mennonites!), I didn’t experience the road rage that is so common in southern California. Even when we lived in Israel and dealt with the frustrations of life in an intense foreign culture, my husband was the one who occasionally blew his top and vented his anger on, for example, a landlord who wasn’t doing anything about the lack of electricity in our apartment, in the middle of a scorching summer, in a very hot climate, in which our young son was suffering (albeit mildly) because of the landlord’s negligence.

I don’t intend, by these examples, to give the impression that I was perfect in this area and never got frustrated; but I do believe it’s fair to say that anger wasn’t one of my besetting sins.

But then I had children. And, as we all know, that changes everything.

When exactly did my struggle with anger begin? When my first child was a baby? No, I

don’t think so. I may have been extra-tired and overly-worried, but I don’t remember my frustration level being through the roof. I do know, however, that by the time my first child was a preschooler and my second a toddler, I had a problem: a daily struggle with anger.

To be honest, I didn’t even like to admit it was anger. “I’m stressed!” I would say. “I feel really frustrated!” But at the root of that, when I was transparent enough to peel off the false labels I attached to it, lay an ugly, rotten, pile of…yes…anger.

Thankfully, my anger was controlled by some heavy-duty fences, and those boundaries stayed intact: no physical violence against my children, no calling them names, no yelling and screaming and cursing. But there was one tell-tale sign that I couldn’t cover up, no matter how hard I tried to maintain a facade of being calm, cool, and collected.

There was an edge in my voice. Kids are smart, you know? It didn’t take my sons long to realize that when they heard that particular tone,Mommy was mad.

Is there anything more heart-breaking than asking your children what they see in you that you should change and hearing them say, “Your harsh words”? How many times have I apologized to a sad-hearted child–”I’m sorry I spoke harshly to you”–and heard the quiet response, “That’s OK, Mommy. I forgive you”?

In the years since I first admitted to myself that, when it came to my children, I had an anger problem, I have searched for the answer, the solution to my wrath, the antidote to the poison-before it does lasting harm to my children (of whom there are now four–all dearly-loved boys! ). I haven’t discovered a magic cure, but I have found grace for the journey. And sometimes, a light breaks forth and shines unexpectedly, providing illumination for the next step of the path to peaceful motherhood. Here is my latest insight…

One day recently, I began my morning by having this question pop into my head: Is there anything so important today that would justify me getting angry with my children? Is there any meeting or appointment so vital that it would be better for me to get that horrible edge in my voice as I rushed my children along rather than be late to it? Is there any household task so essential that it would validate my frustration if my sons interrupt or distract me from it? Is there anything–ANYTHING at all–crucial enough to be worth the cost of me getting angry?

Because there is a cost. There always is, usually paid in the downcast glances and slumped shoulders of little ones whose hearts bleed silently when Mommy speaks harshly.

When I ask myself those questions, the answer is painfully obvious. No! There is nothing that important! The cost of anger is too high; I refuse to pay it.

Because of that decision, I am better equipped to pause life for a moment as I go into my dressing room, so to speak–to shed the garments of stress and anxiety and pressure and frustration and anger, and to clothe myself with, as Paul instructs us in Colossians 4:12, “tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Forget name brands–those are the kinds of clothes I long for! 🙂

What are you longing for?

Muffin Tin Monday- Dipping Into Lunch

May 23, 2011 By Deirdre

JDaniel loves dipping foods into sauces and dips. I was contacted by the makers of Beanfields Bean and Rice Chips to do a review of two of their products and thought that they would be perfect for dipping.

The Beanfields chips are corn and gluten free. I have a friend who is gluten free in her diet right now and she has been searching high and low for gluten free products that taste great. The sea salt and Pico de Gallo chips do taste great. JDaniel wasn’t really into the Pico de Gallo (Yes, it looks like he wants more in the picture.) and asked if he could trade them in for more of the sea salt chips.

JDaniel has been skipping the proteins I put in his lunch. These chips offer him protein in a form that he doesn’t know is protein. The navy beans and black beans are disguised as a treat.

It is wonderful that they are made in the United States too.

The chips were served with three different dips made of things I found in my fridge. There was a traditional sour cream and onion dip. The second dip was plain yogurt with salsa. The final dip was plain yogurt with Italian salad dressing mixed in.

Carrots were added to round out the meal. Actually JDaniel requested cheese be added to his tin too. It isn’t lunch without cheese.

Disclaimer: I was sent the bags of Beanfields to review. We really liked them and will ordering them online. They are not in our local store yet. Click here to see if they have a store near you.

This post is linked to Muffin Tin Monday!

What is your favorite dip?

Dad’s Birthday Present! Panda Robot is on the List?

May 21, 2011 By Deirdre

On Wednesday morning just after morning prayers I asked JDaniel what he thought we should give dad for his birthday.

JDaniel: Well, you know how dad has that remote control monster truck in the closet that is broken.

Me: Yes, I know about that truck.

JDaniel: I think he needs a robot to have something to play with.

Me: Does Dad need a robot or do you want one?

JDaniel: Well, dad and I play together. He would share it with me.

Me: What kind of robot does Dad need?

JDaniel: He needs a panda robot like we saw at the store when we got Cruz’s birthday present.

Me: Doesn’t he need a new monster truck instead.

JDaniel: No, Dad really likes robots now and he would want that one.

Me: Why does he want the panda robot? Does he even like pandas?

JDaniel: I like pandas and I am a lot like Dad.

Me: So, you liked the panda robot you saw at the store and you want it to play with. Is that it?

JDaniel: No, this is what Dad wants. I know he does.

(Small feet scamper to ask Dad while he is still sleeping in bed.)

JDaniel: Dad, don’t you want a panda robot for your birthday?

Dad: What? Pandas aren’t robots.

JDaniel: For you birthdays don’t you want a robot!

Dad: (One eye opened) Son, right now I just want sleep!

JDaniel: Mom, I will ask him again later.

Me: (Ushering JDaniel out of the room and closing the door.) Yes, maybe later he will decide he wants the robot.

While a panda robot was on JDaniel’s list, pants and a shirt were on Dad’s list.

Happy Birthday Honey!

Read.Explore.Learn.- Gardening

May 20, 2011 By Deirdre

Welcome to Read. Explore. Learn! This meme was designed to be a place for you to share the learning opportunities, crafts, field trips, and other activities you have done this week that tie-in to children’s books. I look forward to seeing the ways you have learned with and explored books.

Steps:

Link your activity below.

Please place the Read.Explore.Learn. badge on your post or create a link back to this meme.

<center><a href=”http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/”><img alt=”Shibley Smiles” src=”http://69.195.124.116/~jdanielf/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ReadExploreLearn.jpg” alt=”jdaniel4smom” width=”150″ height=”150″ /></a></center>

Please try to visit at least three of the other people that have placed links below and leave a comment. I will visit each of you and leave a kind comment.

If you are not linking up an activity and are just visiting, please try to stop by a few of the links below.

My Book Tie-Ins of the Week:

Jack’s Garden by Henry Cole is built around the old story The House that Jack Built.

Jack starts with a garden soil filled with creatures.

Then he adds seeds to the soil that makes up the garden.

Rain wets the seeds that are in the soil that makes up the garden.

The seeds become seedling and later plants in the soil that makes up the garden.

The plants grow flowers that attract bugs in the soil that makes up Jack’s garden by the end of the book.

Henry Cole’s well label illustrations are the best part of the book. I was able to tell JDaniel the names of all the bugs and types of flowers, because they were labeled in the book.

What did we do?

We planted seeds about a month and a half ago.

We talked and read to the seeds to help them grow.

The pollen level was high so, I brought the plants inside so that JDaniel could check on their progress. He came up with the wonderful idea of pictures walking them through some of his books.

This post is linked to Feed Me Books Friday, Link and Learn, We Play and It’s Play Time.

Beets Can Beat It!

May 19, 2011 By Deirdre

I abhor canned beets! I haven’t decided if it is their slimy texture or the flavor I just don’t like.

As the main shopper at my house, I can avoid buying them. They have only been in my shopping cart once ever. I was trying to get JDaniel to try new foods and tried some in his Muffin Tin Monday meal. He didn’t like them either.

My mom loves beets! When you go to her house for dinner, you will probably find beets on the table. She always seems surprised when none of us eat them. Maybe she makes them in the hopes there will be leftovers. Maybe she finishes off the bowl of beets with relish when we leave her house while sitting at the kitchen table or watching her favorite book talk on television.

Early in the spring I grabbed a bunch of seed packets at Walgreens when they had them on sale four packets for eighty cents. It really didn’t matter what seeds the packets held. I just wanted JDaniel to get the experience of planting seeds and watching them grow. With my lack of a green thumb I was sure some of them won’t grow.

Guess what!? Some are growing better than others, but they are all growing. The sunflower plants look a little sickly. The lone pumpkin plant has started to lose color. The zinnias actually look like they may be flowers. The beets look amazingly healthy.

Yes, I said beets. Who knew when I grabbed a bunch of seed packets that one of them would contain beets.

You knew didn’t you that as soon as I said I just grabbed a bunch of seed packets that beet seeds had to be in the mix.

Well, maybe fresh beets will taste better than canned ones, if they don’t we probably won’t be eating many of them. My mom will probably get most of them.

This post is a part of Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop!

Allergy Boys Indoor Entertainment Exchange

May 18, 2011 By Deirdre

Lisa of Two Bears Farm and I were talking about our “allergy boys”. Cort one of Lisa’s three sons has allergies similar to JDaniel. Cort has to spend a lot of time inside during the spring and has needed to get the allergy tests done just like my little guy. We thought it would be fun to put together an “Allergy Boys” exchange for them. Each would get a box of fun things to explore and play with on days when they need to be inside. Both boys would rather be outside, but it is not always possible.

JDaniel and I had fun putting a box together for Cort. Cort is almost two and so I tried to get things he could do on this own as well as things he could do with his mom and older brother. I hoped he would also share them with his twin brother.

We got the following:

Foam Dots

The dots could be used to create patterns, sort by colors, used to leap from spot to spot, or stuck to the wall of the bathtub when wet to give them bathtub pox.

Magnetic Alphabet Letters in a Puzzle

I thought they could be used to practice letters or find matching letters on the Thomas the Train placemat we also included.

A Fire Truck Craft Kit

JDaniel loves fire trucks I hoped Cort would like making one.

A Sound Wand

This could be used as a marching baton, to practice rolling, or to shake and whirl to make noise.

Water Balls

These balls are designed to be played with in water. I thought he could try to make baskets in the tub or sink with them.

Robot Stickers

They are such fun to stick on things. Hopefully in just mom approved locations

Purple Metal Box

Things can be hidden the box and clues given as to what is under the box lid.

Books

Two board books that were favorites of JDaniel when he was two.

A Purple Silicone Egg Mold

I found it at Hobby Lobby for 90% off. Lisa and I are both Muffin Tin Moms. I stuck in the box more for her that for Cort.

JDaniel has loved exploring his box from Two Bears Farm. Here are a few pictures of things he has played with so far:

JDaniel loves giving the creatures from his haircut kit crew cuts.

JDaniel loved sticking the facial features in a mango. He spend what seemed like an hour trying different eyes, noses, mouths, and horns in each of the holes I put in the mango.

What other indoor activities would you suggest for our “allergy boys”?

This post is linked to Mrs. Matlock’s Alphabe Thursday. It is “E” week.

Pause Life for a Moment- Things I Can’t Say

May 17, 2011 By Deirdre

Shell of Things I Can’t Say is wonderful and it is hard to put into words how amazing she is. I met her in real life at the Type A Mom Conference last fall and she was as friendly, a personable and real as you would think she is after reading her posts. I went to the conference hoping to learn about blogging and I did. A lot of what I learned was from Shell. She is not a blogger who is guarded about the secrets to her success. Shell shared blogging insights I really needed to hear to move forward in blogging. I will be forever thankful that she is who she is and she shares it with others.

So much of my time as a mom, I was looking forward to an event in the future:

*When my baby would sleep through the night

*When my baby could walk

*When the next baby was born

*When the NEXT baby was born

*When all my boys are out of diapers

*When we’re past the stroller stage

*When all my boys are in school

Thinking everything would get simpler and easier.

Rush, rush, rush through all the frantic moments.

But then I take a good look at my boys. My oldest, who is finishing his first year of kindergarten. My middle, who just turned five. My BABY who is turning 3 in a few weeks.

And I realize that I don’t have babies any more. My boys are getting so big.

And I want to pause life for a moment.

Pause it while they still fit in my lap.

Pause it while they still want me to tuck them in at night.

Pause it while they still want to hug me in front of their friends.

Pause it while they think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.

Pause it while they are my little boys.

Time is moving fast enough. I don’t need to wish away their childhoods, just to get to the “easy” stuff.

Something tells me it’s not going to be easy, anyway.

So, I’d like to pause life for a moment and enjoy my babies. I just won’t call them that where they can hear.

Please stop by Things I Can’t Say and let Shell know how much you have enjoyed this post.

Muffin Tin Muffin-A Celebration of Worms

May 16, 2011 By Deirdre

As you may remember, JDaniel wanted a pet a few weeks ago. We needed something dander free that is low maintenance. While attending an Earth Day workshop at the Upstate Children’s Museum, JDaniel adopted about fifty pets. They are English earthworms and they live in a compost box.

He got to help drill holes. It was a thrill.

We shredded paper and then received a bunch of wiggly, giggly worms.

JDaniel loves to feed them and check to make sure the box is moist enough for them. He even talks to them to make sure they are okay.

In honor of JDaniel’s new pets, we have a muffin tin that celebrates worms. JDaniel had worms made of whole-grain waffles to dip in tomato sauce. Worms like debris from plants so, cheese flowers and their scraps were included. A segmented mandarin orange worm and two candy worms finish out the tin.

Read.Explore.Learn- Panda-Monium

May 13, 2011 By Deirdre

Steps:

Link your activity below.

Please place the Read.Explore.Learn. badge on your post or create a link back to this meme.

<center><a href=”http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/”><img alt=”Shibley Smiles” src=”http://69.195.124.116/~jdanielf/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ReadExploreLearn.jpg” alt=”jdaniel4smom” width=”150″ height=”150″ /></a></center>

Please try to visit at least three of the other people that have placed links below and leave a comment. I will visit each of you and leave a kind comment.

If you are not linking up an activity and are just visiting, please try to stop by a few of the links below.

My Book Tie-Ins of the Week:

All of the above as accomplished plus the regular everyday events of our lives. The Beckett, the panda in this book is out to do just one thing. He is trying to find a snack. His tummy in rumbling and he sets out to find some bamboo.

While he marches down the road to search for bamboo, he sings a song about his search. That lures other pandas from what they are doing to follow him. More and more pandas join his search unbeknownst to him. They roll down hills to join him, skip after him, march behind him, leap, and come out of hiding.

When he finds a tree, all the pandas try to join him in it and the branch breaks. Only then Beckett realizes he has been joined by other pandas in groups of two, three, four, and five. Falling pandas creates a panda-monium.

Beckett bounces down a hill and away from the panda-monium and ends up in a thicket of bamboo all alone.

Where did the other pandas go? He never knew.

What did we do?